Can this really be true?

I saw this ad a couple of weeks ago, and I thought it was so amazing that I had to cut it out, scan it, and put it up for your viewing pleasure.  Because, I don't know if you're with me on this, but I totally didn't even know that Medieval Times was still open.

Just….wow.  For one thing, do you think the people in this ad really work for Medieval Times, or are they just print photography models who got called in for an "awesome stock photography" job by their respective agents, then couldn't say no once they got there for fear of not getting booked again?   Are they REAL Medieval Times enthusiasts, these people?  All of them look sort of happy, but also like they could burst into laughter at any time, especially the girl on the right.   I also really like the fact that they've listed "Baltimore/ Washington D.C." as one of their locations, even though these two places are pretty far away from each other.  You know the Baltimore-adjacent place where they do Medieval Times is probably in a terrifying neighborhood, because– can you imagine a big Medieval Times lot in Georgetown, or K Street?  I think not.

Also, this makes me think that some clever advertising/ statistics/ marketing people were involved in this campaign.  They can't call themselves the "# 1 restaurant in North America," because that would clearly not be true.  But, if they just move the line a little bit and call Medieval Times the "# 1 Dinner Attraction in North America," then they're declaring themselves the leaders of a field so narrow, they might have actually made it up.    This, to me, is kind of like those guys who buy a parcel of land out in Montana and declare themself the "president of the United States….of Dave," or, as Stephan once said when we were driving somewhere in the Mojave desert, "oh look– there's a small compound probably known as Bob-alonia."  Like, you're only # 1 because there's no one else in your category, you know what I'm saying?

Medieval Times has always baffled me as a concept, although I suppose it's a nice place to go if you have alot of loud, unruly, messy children who like watching people fake joust while they are eating giant turkey legs.   Frankly, the whole thing just sounds unsanitary to me.  How are they allowed to serve food when they have horses and horse poop in such close proximity?  I'm not even allowed to tie up my dog in the outside part of the Coffee Bean in Santa Monica without them running out and telling me that I'm "risking their Grade A health department rating."  Or, maybe Medieval Times isn't subject to the health department inspection because they operate in a time before health codes….a mystical, magical time of jousting and maidens and big turkey legs in close proximity to horse poop.  And also, a complete lack of irony.  So there.

• Category: Funny Stuff