I learned about microwaving Peeps a few years ago, when I was already a middle-aged adult, so you’ll forgive my tardiness with this reporting. “How long do you microwave a Peep” seems like the kind of information you would get from me, so let me be that person for you.
The answer to this very important question is: 30 to 60 seconds, but with varying stages of power depending on the result you want. If your intention is just to watch the Peep blow up, go ahead and put that bad boy in for 60 seconds on full power. In case you don’t want to try this and clean up the mess at your own house, I have done it for you. To make this process more entertaining, I used a watermelon flavored peep (the best flavor, in my opinion. Watermelon peeps taste exactly like the watermelon Jolly Ranchers of our youth.
When you do that, here is what happens:
60 seconds, full power: SCORCHED PEEP!
The process looks cool while it is happening (see below), but your microwave (and your kitchen) will end up smelling like burning, plus the Peep that results will be inedible. Also, Pinterest thought this was a bullfrog for some reason, and I got several comments saying that people thought this was moldy ham. I WOULD NEVER!
Yikes! That is gory. By the way, in case you’re curious (which I am certain you are not), I stuck these on Pinterest because WordPress kept not letting me upload them into the back-end of this website, and I have a strict “never let the technology win” policy, so I created this dumb Pinterest workaround, which worked until it didn’t. You don’t care.
The next one I tried was 30 seconds, full power. This looked cool (similar to what is pictured above), but the result was also inedible. It does appear that the “full power” setting cooks the Peep too much, creating a brittle, slightly burned effect (note the charring):
Attempt # 3 was the perfect synthesis of “amusing to watch whilst in the microwave” and “produces an edible result,” and that was: 60 seconds at 50% power. Your mileage may vary, as I suspect many people (myself included until today) do not actually know how to put their microwave on 50% power.
Perfection!
Finally, in case you are tempted, I also microwaved a Peeps bunny, and I do not recommend this. I thought it would look cool to have it standing upright so it could grow into a giant, but it immediately fell over and ended up looking vaguely disappointed.
