I took this photo while I was out and about today, and I'd like to play a little game, if you'll indulge me.
What does this look like to you?
I'll give you a few choices.
a. Perfume that totally smells like old ladies.
b. Hand lotion that is just a little too watery.
c. Strange, peach-flavored liqueur with a little bit of cream in it that is absolutely guaranteed to make you throw it right back up.
It's (c), in guess you're really wondering, but the bottle made me laugh so much, I whipped out my phone and took a photo even though the liquor store guy did not look that amused.
Let me ask you– why do companies make products that look like this? It's probably not going to be good (or it will be too good, which will get you even sicker), it is strangely designed, and apparently the name of it is "Qream."
With a Q.
Seriously– how do products like this make it out of the development process? I don't get how someone has an idea for a peach-flavored cream liquor named Qream that comes in an ugly bottle made it all the way through this company without anyone going "You know…..we're probably going to lose money on this."
It is also amazing to me that this product actually has wide enough distribution to make an appearance at my liquor store. Two things– one, I did some consulting for a wine company a couple of years ago, and I can tell you from first-hand experience that it is actually not that easy to get your alcohol into stores, and two, I have ideas all the time that end up being dumb or not going anywhere (like whole websites, for instance), and the way I find this out is through the business equivalent of natural selection– they don't cost that much to get going, and they quickly prove themselves to be either viable or totally stupid, at which point I either develop them further (like into books) or pull the plug on them. Total time and money lost could be…. $50? With that in mind, how (omigod) how much is it going to take before Qream meets its certain demise? Or, am I totally wrong about this– do you think this looks really good and can't wait to try it?
Also, just in case you're curious, this product was apparently invented and brought to market by Pharrell Williams, so that might at least explain the distribution. Please, please go over to the website and read all the copy, especially the recipe for "Peach Qobbler." I think this is definitely going to go on Pharrell Williams' list of "ideas I had that I probably should have left in the notebook."
Seriously– all I can think about when I look at the bottle is that this is a liquer that high school kids are going to drink at an party one night, and then they are going to barf so much, and after that, every time they see the bottle or smell peach flavoring, they will gag a little bit.
Stephan says: "This looks like a present you would get Dina Lohan if you were trying to get her to sleep with you."