they make me laugh, because a) what are you doing here if you don't like me? and
b) based on what I've already written here, is it not clear that I'm going to make fun of you if you say something bad about me and
you say it in a way that makes you sound stupid? Because dude, if you come here, read some stuff, and then
leave a comment with bad grammar and weird words, I'm sorry. Game.
On.
this GEM of a comment I received the other day, in response to that post about
how absolutely everything is bad for you now, how everything you're doing is
wrong, and how the minute you try to change something, some hippie jumps out of
the woodwork to say "Oh, oh my GOD, NO! That's even WORSE!" until literally,
you want to take a bite of rare steak right in front of them, then squirt them
with DEET-laden insect repellent. By the way, I would just like to mention that I got alot of positive feedback on that post as well, indicating that many of you have similar feelings. So, thanks for that.
person's email address, because that would just be rude.
RIPE for the picking.
Do you just mention Tom's of Maine and mouthwash just
to make them show up in the GOOGLE ADS that run next to your column or were you
just BORN TO create Irony while making straight fun of those selling
advertising.
Not the first time you have done this Lori.
Oh no it's
not!"
First, let's notice the Totally Strange and somewhat
Random Capitalization method that this person is employing. This is Weird, and I'm
not sure I'm Getting Your point, sir or ma'am. Did you mean RIFE with irony, or RIPE for
the picking of that irony? Because I was Distracted by the
capitalization, Further clarification will be Needed to illustrate the Meaning
of your opinion.
To answer the question at hand, though, you are
correct, oh Strange Capitalizer. Indeed, Broadcasting and advertising ARE both
ripe for the picking and rife with opportunities for mockery, which is why I
sometimes deconstruct them for strategic comical purposes on this blog. And, contrary to
perhaps popular belief, I do not control the internet, so I am not in charge of
what GOOGLE ADS are served up. So, it could happen that Ironically, I am
writing something about how Tom's of Maine mouthwash probably tastes like
patchouli, and because it's based on an algorithm, the Google Ads robot would run an ad next to that post that links you over to buy some Tom's of Maine
products, BECAUSE THE WORDS ARE SIMILAR and that's how the robot works. Of
course, we would all agree that after reading the words "Tom's of Maine
mouthwash probably tastes like patchouli," you would be statistically less
likely to purchase that product, but that is not really my problem. Hey, maybe
you LOVE the taste of patchouli, what the hell do I know? This would also
hold true for Latisse, the eyelash-regrowing product that I called "insane and
irrational," and yet which ALSO generated an ad next to the post. Again,
maybe you don't CARE if I think it's insane and irrational to change your eye
color just to regrow your eyelashes, and maybe after reading that post you decided that Latisse was for you, and you're painting it on your thin and sparse lashes even as we speak.
Further, I"m not sure what is meant by "were you just
BORN TO create Irony while making straight fun of those selling
advertising."
Is this a question? Clearly I was BORN TO create
Irony, and to make words, which is why I have been and continue to be employed
as a writer OF BOOKS AND WEBSITES, and even of some words for
ADVERTISING.
I also really like that they've pointed out that this
is not the first time I've done this, and added my name and "Oh no it's not!" as
if they were my dad, and I stole their car and went to a party and came back after curfew smelling like wine coolers. "Lori!
Continued repeated mentions of Ironic ADVERTISING references will result in
grounding! Oh yes they will!
So, in closing, please feel free to leave all the
comments you want, and I will in turn feel free to censor you by erasing your comments, then turning them into blog posts. Because, please remember that when I mocked Mischa Barton for being a
bad actress (because MISCHA BARTON IS A BAD ACTRESS), not only did I get a bunch
of weird comments, but I got smack-talked in a Mischa Barton chat room. Further, being a writer requires that not only are you immune to the disparaging and sometimes ridiculous comments of people who don't like you, but that you develop a certain eye for those that deserve to be recognized and even highlighted, with a whole post of their own.
In closing, I will say that I am no stranger to the mockery, and I (and my readers) take great
pleasure in returning the ball, should you Choose to THROW IT OUT in such a
funny way, RIFE with grammatical errors and RIPE for the re-mocking. I
guarantee that I am not even the most sarcastic of my group of friends and
readers. Oh yes I do!