Dude! Alot of stuff happened over the weekend, right? First Bernie Mac dies, then alot of Olympics excitement, then ISAAC HAYES? Damn, who could have expected all of that? All I have to say is, Samuel L. Jackson better watch his back, because guess what? All three of them starred in "Soul Men," which is due out on November 14th. John Legend is also in this film. Will it come out? Will everyone in it be dead by then? Your guess is as good as mine. That’s really sad about Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, though. Two very talented men, who will be missed.
So, ok, now that we all need cheering up, I’ve been collecting all of these photos for a long time now, and I thought I’d share them for your Monday. Some of them were sent to me by people who knew they were blog-worthy, and some were taken by my cellphone. Putting a camera in a cellphone, for me at least, has got to be one of the greatest ideas of this decade. Because you know what? There is alot of funny stuff in the world, and it really needs to be documented by my cellphone.
Here’s the first one. McDonald’s is offering this again, and once every couple of months I like to get one, because, um–hello? A Snickers in a milkshake? That’s just good sense. I took the photo, though, because as we were walking by, Stephan saw the sign and said: "Wow– Snickers McFlurry. Worst… stripper name….ever."
Maybe I put this one up already, but I can’t remember, so if I did get over it. I really like it– it’s a hand-made sign I saw in CVS one day. I think they’re trying to indicate some kind of sale, but all I can think when I see this is "It’s like paying $3.99– because so many things are."
Stephan was sitting next to a possible homeless, definitely very weird guy in a coffee shop one day, and took this photo. This snowglobe might be filled with urine. Yes, that’s gross and all, but really– how’d he get it in there? That is some complicated business right there. Maybe that guy should be putting his energy to better use.
I cut this out of a newspaper here in L.A., because I think it does a really good job of showing just how important aesthetics are out here. I think the asterisk is because this doctor offers foot surgery, but not for like, people with arthritis or bunions or anything like that. Oh no no– he’s just going to make your foot look like a "normal" foot, so you won’t be constantly haunted by the shame of having uneven toes and way, way too much money. What I’m really wondering, though, is– does he take the piece from the third toe and transplant it onto the second toe, thereby creating a Franken-toe? To me, knowing you have a Franken-toe would be much worse than knowing your toes were just uneven. Then again, have you seen my second toe? Maybe I should call and get some foot surgery* myself.
My friend Alex sent me this one, and even though it’s kind of pixel-y, I think you can clearly make out the words "Frozen Hispanic," right under Frozen Snacks and Frozen Sweets. This grocery store– they like diversity.
This is another one of my favorites from the 99 cent store, where I go sometimes to buy things like dish soap, and to laugh. I like that there’s so much effort put into the fact that they’re NOT RIPPING OFF CHEETOS, ok? THEY’RE NOT! Also, what’s with the little guy at the top? Is he supposed to be a piece of popcorn? Why’s he saying "That’s what it’s all about!"? What’s "what it’s all about," Popcorn Man? I’m just baffled by this. It goes to the place in my brain where anime also goes– the "huh?" place.
I took this last one in my local grocery store, just to amuse you. It’s a vat of some seafood salad thing called "Seafood Louie," and it’s all I can do to not burst into tears every time I walk by it, so totally convinced am I that it’s a) been there all day, and b) is going to make someone sick. I’m so disturbed by this that I actually hold my breath when I walk by it, lest the mayonnaise-y, seafood-y germs suddenly become airborne and I inhale them. I know it sounds crazy, but– JUST LOOK AT IT! Who would buy that? Oh MY GOD! Oh, and if you have no idea what I’m talking about, maybe you should go back and read this article, which basically explains how I have the OCD, and it manifests itself in fear of food. I have some other crazy quirks too, but I’ll save those for another day. OCD really is hilarious, you know.
Hey, by the way–if you see something funny, like urine in a snowglobe or a sign that says "Frozen Hispanic," you should definitely, 100% take a picture and send it to me. People need to laugh, man! Help a brother out!