Lori Culwell – Page 2 – Funny Strange

Where I Try Blueberry Pie Oreos and Talk About Brand Strategy

First, let’s get some housekeeping out of the way. Yes, I know, I have not been writing over here for awhile. I apologize for the extended absence—frankly, I was sort of burned out on writing all the time, and if you write at all, you know that when you are burned out, you just switch subjects, because THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU CAN DO is “take a break” from writing. When you take a break from writing, you then have to train yourself to get back in the habit, which is just as terrible as it sounds. Even knowing this, I took a break and got out of the habit. Now I have to get back in, and wow. Not fun. Should have just switched topics. Painful.

To get back on the proverbial horse, I thought I would start by talking about something that you know is one of my favorite topics, and that would be: companies trying to extend their brands by releasing strange and hilarious products. I thought today I would also couple this with a brief look at this particular company’s stock, since it might be interesting to draw a correlation between brand extension and the company’s actual success.

In a funny way, though, because I know you come here for the ha-ha.

I have mentioned the Mondelez corporation before—they make Oreos, as you probably know, but I think the company’s name makes them sound like they have offices inside Mount Rushmore, and like they must have a corporate jet that takes off by flying out of George Washington’s mouth. Am I alone in this?

Mondelez has been extending their brand equity further and further by releasing Oreo flavors that can, at this point, only be described as “surprising.” I am, of course, referring to flavors like red velvet, cinnamon bun, strawberry shortcake, s’mores, fruit punch, and the latest, fantastically random blueberry pie. I’m as sure as I can be that these novelty flavors are meant to pique interest in the brand, and that this is a curiosity play on Mondelez’ part, meaning enough people are curious about the flavor to buy one or two packages. These weird flavors are also usually only available for a short period of time, so that might add to the urgency and represent a bump in sales if a flavor ends up being really delicious (like cupcake Oreos, which are so good, I drove around town buying them up like I was the subject of Hoarders: Cookie Edition). This strategy is unique and funny, but also a little aggravating, because if a flavor sells through really well, wouldn’t it make logical sense to just add it to your permanent collection? I’m just saying.

Another weird thing to me about this strategy is that it is really not reflected on the Oreo website. You would think that since “making weird flavors” is something they’re doing now, they would know that people are going to wonder about the flavors and probably go to the website to find out more about what inspired them, how long they will be around, which ones are being developed, etc. Did I find any of that on Oreo.com? No I did not. That is crazy to me. Dude! Mondelez! People want to know about your weird cookies! Add a section on your website instead of just pointing people to an esoteric “Flavor Vault” video which tells us nothing. If you need a brand and content strategy person to help you make that happen, hit me up. I not only appreciate your strange flavor combinations, but I have actual experience in this exact area. Irene Rosenfeld (CEO), don’t you even want to issue a press release when these new flavors come out? Come ON!!!

Without further ado, let me give you my taste-test analysis of the blueberry pie flavor. I’m not a big fan of pie, but I am a fan of weirdness, so of course I bought a package of these cookies and am trying to get everyone who comes into my house to try them. By the way, yes, I did try the s’mores flavor, which tasted vaguely of s’mores and does have a graham cracker flavored cookie. I wanted to like that one more than I did, because I super love s’mores in general. Overall I liked the concept of that flavor more than the execution, as I felt like once it was in cookie form, the s’mores flavor was a little faded, meaning it was just a vague hint of chocolate and marshmallow, eliciting only a slight “Meh” and a shrug from not only myself, but almost everyone at my mother-in-law’s birthday party last month, where I had those out in case anyone wanted to taste them.

Let me add another caveat on the blueberry pie: I am not a huge fan of fruit-flavored desserts of any kind., because warm fruit is disgusting to me (yes, even apple pie. I am clearly mental). With that said, this cookie was NOT BAD, although I would say it tastes more like the cookie form of a blueberry muffin made from a package than an blueberry pie. Stephan also tried it and deemed the flavor to be “uncannily like a blueberry Pop Tart.” He seemed to like it more than I did.

The packaging on this flavor is hilarious to me as well, with its ambitious busy-ness. This might be the Oreo cookie flavor that is trying the hardest to be something that it is not. It’s a blueberry-flavored cookie, ok? Let’s relax with showing a WHOLE PIE on the package, next to a cookie that looks nothing like the pie itself. We are not playing a food-related game of “one of these things is not like the other.”

So—blueberry flavor, graham cracker-ish crust. I’m giving this one a thumbs up, but since I’m more of a chocolate person myself, I’m probably going to give the rest of these away and try to get some more passionate reactions.

The final question, of course, is: is this strategy actually working? I’m going to tentatively conclude that it is, since a) they keep doing it, and b) Mondelez’ stock price has steadily been on the incline since they started doing this regularly. Yes, they do own a number of other brands (like Cadbury, Chips Ahoy!, Honey Maid, Wheat Thins, and many others—like Tang. Did you know that Tang is still a thing?), so strong sales of each of these operating companies could be informing the upward trend.

All in all, I am consistently amused by this strategy and hope it lasts forever and gets progressively weirder. Honestly, I hope they keep pushing it until they just turn the corner and start releasing batshit crazy flavors like “Super Spicy Jalapeno and Bacon” Oreos.

And with that, I’M BACK!

Where I Teach You to Make Your Website

I am going to take a break from the snarkiness and strangely-named food, today only, so I can tell you about this project I just finished that I am actually proud of because I think it’s going to actually help people. I would love it if you would tell ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE about this, only because I think it is so super important to have your own website in this day and age, especially if you have something you’re trying to do, like sell books or market music or have a small business or (and this one is huge) take control of your reputation management, which is “what you see when you Google yourself.”

I will not describe the embarrassingly long process of making this video, but I will say that I now have a whole new respect for Stephan Cox, the actual Voice of God, because OMG DID YOU KNOW THAT VOICEOVER IS REALLY HARD?

So, even though this video is on the short side and I tried to be really to the point and boil everything down so that it would be so simple and inexpensive to get started with your own website. I think this is really important, especially if you’re feeling like you want to get started with something but you’re intimidated. I want you to take the first step! Here is a whole video to help you get started!

See, you can tell I am excited to be getting this video out there because I am using A LOT OF EXCLAMATION POINTS AND ALL-CAPS SENTENCES.

I will settle down now. Watch the video, make a website, and please do not let anyone tell you that you have to know how to code or have a lot of money to start a website. Not true! You can do it!

Whoops. More exclamation points. Here’s the video. Please watch it and make a website while I try to calm down.

Warning: Super Scary Clown Costume Ahead

I have posted this in some photo comments on Facebook and I know some people are really scared of clowns, so I want to just say: if you scroll down further, there is a photo of a super-scary clown costume I saw at Walgreen’s recently. This is one of those classic “Funny Strange” moments where I am just absolutely amazed that this made it out into the world, and it’s so funny to me because I feel like this design, which is SO over the top scary and inappropriate for a drugstore, had to pass through at least an entire committee of people at Walgreen’s corporate as well as designers and marketing people, and no one once said “You know what? Maybe this is a little too scary.”

I discovered this terrible tragedy of bureaucratic slovenliness last week when I went into Walgreen’s to buy some random thing, walked up the Halloween aisle, and was stopped in my tracks by this clown costume, which was made even more hilarious to me because some thoughtful Walgreen’s employee has put it FRONT AND CENTER on the hanging rack, exactly at little kid eye level. I am not joking when I tell you that I laughed until I was actually crying, right there in Walgreen’s, just about how freaking scary this clown is and how many people had to approve it before it got mass-produced and showed up there in my store. Just….why? Why the bloodshot eyes? Why the creepy grin? WHY THE LACK OF AIRHOLES?

Also, I bet Stephan wishes I would stop texting him this creepy clown photo at random times. I know that because sometimes he will reply STOP THAT or GOOD CHRIST, and this makes me laugh even more, because I am weird.

And so, in closing, I REALIZE THIS CLOWN IS SCARY, and the reason why it is so funny to me is because no one at Walgreen’s seems to have concluded this, even though it is so very, very obvious to me and everyone else who sees it. Are you ready?

What. The. Actual. Eff, Walgreens? This does not belong in a store!!!

Please reply with your phone number if you would like me to randomly text this clown to you.

Snoop Dogg Got Caught With $420,000 At the Airport. Let’s Discuss.

I saw this story go by on Facebook (my news source) the other day: apparently Snoop Dogg was detained at the airport because he was carrying $422,000 in American cash. I have just, so many questions about the logistics of this situation. Let’s talk about them now.

1. Where, exactly, did Snoop Dogg’s staff obtain $422,000? It seems like that’s going to require multiple visits to several (if not many) local bank branches. Also, won’t they freeze your account if you try to make too many withdrawals? So there’s that. Just….so much paperwork.

2. Doesn’t Snoop Dogg realize that $422,000 in case is such a waste? Even in a regular savings account (which is also dumb), that many could be accruing interest at least. Hello! Snoop Dogg! Have you never heard about the magic of compounding?

3. Um…….Snoop Dogg. Friend. Homey. Even I am going to tell you that carrying that much money makes you look like you’re doing something shady. I’M SORRY.

4. Snoop Dogg. You’re in Italy. Why do you need $422,000 in American cash? There is nowhere for you to spend this.

Side note: Oh, it’s from European concerts? THEN WHY IS IT IN AMERICAN CURRENCY? I am hoping he didn’t exchange the Euros at the airport, because can you imagine the fees? Again, SUCH A WASTE.

5. Snoop Dogg had $422,000 in cash, but he doesn’t think to hire a private jet? This makes no sense to me.

6. Couldn’t you just use a credit card to get, like, whatever you want? Why does he need that much cash???

7. Isn’t that much cash SO HEAVY? Again, logistically speaking, this just seems like a pain.

8. I don’t know why I have so many objections to this concept. It seems heavy and wasteful, and therefore is absurd to me.

Party Game! Take the Gross Chips Challenge

First, let me apologize for my lack of posting– it appears that my Instagram has uncoupled itself from this blog again, so I’m afraid you’ve been missing out on my posts of weird food and misspelled signs for several months now. I’m sure you are sad, I know I am. Think of all the hilarity we’ve lost!

Anyhow, it is now fixed, and I wanted to tell you about this game we played at Stephan’s birthday party weekend before last before the details of it slip my mind.

I think you probably know that every year now, Lay’s comes up with a new batch of potato chip flavors, and everyone votes on them, and one of them is the winner and joins Lay’s increasingly diverse repertoire of questionable chips. Why they don’t just stick to making potato chips, I do not know.
Potato chips are delicious, end of story.

So. Gross Chips Challenge. Here’s how it went:

I bought all of these chips:

Let’s be clear– I did not think any of these chips were going to be remotely good, but I did suspect that other people had seen them in the store and wanted to try A CHIP, but didn’t want to buy a whole bag. This turned out to be correct.

I put out four bowls, each with the bag of chips behind it (for reading and easy refills). Then I put a tally/ voting sheet at the end of the table for people to make a hash mark on when they found the flavor that truly accosted their senses. The only rule was: “if it makes you make a terrible face, that’s the one.”

Everyone seemed to really like this game, and the absolutely awful flavors (most of which are meat-based this year) were an excellent conversation point.

Here are the chip flavors with their respective results:

1. Biscuits and Gravy. This one got 7 votes. I found the flavor to not only be super gross, but I had to go find some water to get the slight pork aftertaste out of my mouth. Still, this one did not win my “grossest chip” award.

2. Greektown Gyros. This one was the overwhelming winner, perhaps because of its lingering lamb aftertaste. So bad, it got 15 votes and a couple of extra notes underneath for good measure. Those read:

“Yuck!”

“HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE CHIP FROM HELL”

Then someone else wrote “It was FINE” underneath that.

I really like the little argument that ensued in the comments section. Very passionate!

3. New York Reuben. I couldn’t even finish eating this one once I tasted the salami flavoring. This got five votes, and one angry person wrote “WORST. I prefer the tinned wet cat food as a chip.”

4. Truffle Fries. As suspected, this one got the least votes (just one), probably because it is mostly a benign, slightly salty version of a potato chip. I don’t like truffle oil at all, but still, this one was the best for me. Several people commented “This one is actually good.”

I really think you should do this for your next party. Just the faces people make alone is worth the price of admission. Initially I was going to say I didn’t want to encourage Lay’s to keep making these chips, but one bite of the gyro one is going to convince you that this is actually not a real concern.

Please, take the challenge and report back! Again, I apologize for my lengthy hiatus. I have been just super slammed with work and life, and the stop-gap I set up (amusing photos from my Instagram) malfunctioned, so I just looked like I was neglecting the Funny Strange. Not the case!!!

What Is Going on Here? Talking Red Velvet Oreos and more….

You guys! Can I just make a really lame excuse for why this blog hasn’t been updated in several months? No joke, despite being a complete tech nerd, I did not realize that my Instagram feed completely stopped posting itself up over here, so I thought I was posting the whole time.

Weak, I know.

I will admit that I haven’t been writing as much, as I’m currently attempting to manage client work with an attempt to learn a new skill (video/ animation), but that’s no excuse. I should check over here every once in awhile!

Here are some photos I have taken recently and posted either to FB or Instagram (or both, when the syndication loop I set up is working correctly):

Um….did someone in the graphic design department at the Peeps corporation not look at this packaging from a distance? I’m sorry, but if you just glance at this box out of the corner of your eye, those chocolate Peeps look like tiny, well-organized turds. I laughed out loud when I saw the package, because honestly, wouldn’t it just be so easy to change the name to “Poops”? I’M JUST SAYING.

Here is another one of those businesses that I think is super funny, but other people think it’s normal or don’t give it a second look. I have this same problem with the “Three Day Blinds” company. Why three days? Is that how long it takes them to make your blinds? Do you need to give them three days’ notice? Is three days faster than it usually takes a blind-maker to make some blinds? I can (and do) easily fall down a semantic rabbit hole with these types of names, and here is (in my opinion) an even weirder one:

I don’t know if you can read this (from the size of the photo), but this is a truck for a local Seattle mattress seller called “The 6 Day Mattress Store.” Every single time I see this truck, my mind begins to reel with existential possibility.

Ummm….. why 6 days? Am I missing something? Does it take 6 days for them to get you the mattress? I’m going to be honest here, that kind of sounds like an overly long time to me. Or…are they custom making the mattress? If that’s the case, 6 days doesn’t seem like a long enough time. At any rate, I’m completely unclear as to why 6 days is so important that it must be included AS THE NAME OF THE STORE. Can someone please enlighten me?

Lastly, before I go and try to figure out why my photos stopped posting over here, I give you the newest/ latest Oreo flavor—Red Velvet. I’m sure you know I always buy these new flavors to see just how gross they are and to wonder aloud why the Mondeleez corporation bothers (though I will admit, those pumpkin pie flavored Oreos are surprisingly delicious). Stephan and I both tried the red velvet, and we both went “Meh…..not really worth the calories,” so I’m not going to give this flavor a thumbs up. It didn’t offend me or anything, just didn’t bowl me over with deliciousness. I would chalk that up to the fact that red velvet wouldn’t be my first choice of cake, but I actively do not like pumpkin pie, and yet the pumpkin pie Oreos were my favorite thing of the holiday 2014 season, so an affinity for the original does not seem to be a very good indicator. In case you’re curious, no, I did not find the filling to be particularly cream cheese flavored (though it did seem like that’s what they were trying for). I would call the flavor “cream cheese-ish.”

And with that, I will leave you to go and nerdily tinker with my RSS feed settings. Hope you’re having a good 2015 so far!!

TV-MA Warning (Parody)

So, I got caught up on American Horror Story: Freakshow last night (yikes!), and while I was watching, it struck me just how long and convoluted that pre-show warning has become.

With that in mind, I wrote a parody for my hilarious voiceover rockstar husband to record, and here it is. Not really safe for work.

Best Halloween Candy, According to Us

Well well well, is it mid-November already? I feel like it was just October, and we were just watching the Shining in the dark with all the lights out so we didn’t have to give out any candy, all Scrooge-like. Actually, we just do that for effect. We never get any trick-or-treaters anymore. Is trick-or-treating even still a thing? Here’s that Halloween Candy post everyone seems to like, just in case you haven’t read it. That was from back when we actually DID give out candy.

Now, though, we don’t eat as much candy anymore, but we did have quite an amusing conversation about it.

Here it is, memorialized in post form. We started out posing the simple question “What IS the best candy bar in the world?”

Stephan will begin:

SC: OK, excluding snooty specialty chocolate (though Lula’s salted caramels—Come. on.), or even imported ones (Lion Bars are the bomb, but any that you get stateside are ALWAYS stale).

Undisputed number one, for a million years running: Snickers. It has everything you want, it has everything you need, it appeals to pretty much everyone (except for people with peanut allergies, who, sadly, probably can’t eat any candy bars anyway, and MY GOD IT MUST SUCK SO BAD). Plus it has been around since we were kids, so it turns out, you can go home again, at least in terms of candy bars.

Lori and I disagree slightly from here on out. Here’s my list:

Kit Kat. I love this candy bar, mostly because it’s crunch and chocolatey, but also because I can trick myself into thinking I’m being good by only eating three of the bars. I’m easily fooled.

Nestle Crunch. A sentimental favorite. There’s nothing particularly special about it, but it just works. Rice krispies in chocolate. If you don’t like that, I’m afraid we can’t be friends.

This is when I chime in:

LC: Hey, what about Butterfinger? Are you mental? That clearly belongs as # 2. In fact, every one of my favorite candy bars (aside from Snickers, on that we agree) contains peanut butter in some form, because peanut butter is the world’s most wonderful food.

Fun fact: I was one of those SUPER picky eater kids, and I survived by eating one peanut butter on wheat bread sandwich for lunch every day until I was 18 years old. Let me substantiate this claim by telling you that I have still not tried certain foods like Brussels Sprouts, and I only dared to try an artichoke when I was in my 30s. Yes, it was that crazy. For this reason, all of my favorite candy bars include peanut butter. Sorry, that’s just how it is.

My # 2 choice goes to Butterfinger. What, exactly, are those pieces of peanut-buttery flake things made of? You know what? Don’t even tell me. Butterfingers are so good, I would eat a whole bag of those little Halloween ones if I allowed them into the house, which I do not, for this very reason.

My # 3 choice goes to Whatchamacallit. DELICIOUS, and probably the most underrated and underreported of the candies. The perfect blend of chocolate, peanut butter (note the theme) and crispy things. I feel like the Nestle Crunch and the (obvious knock-off) Krackel bar are just Whatchamacallits without the peanut butter, and that is just wrong.

# 4—Continuing with the “peanut butter is vital to everything” concept, I will select the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup as my # 4 fave. The only problem with the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is that they are just over too fast. Why do I feel like a Butterfinger lasts longer? Is it because you’re still picking those peanut butter flakes out of your teeth for half an hour after you eat one? Also: Reese’s is really good as a fro-yo topping.

SC: Yes, I went mental for a moment. Butterfinger. How on earth did I leave that one out? It’s such a strong second position (notice I didn’t say “number two”?) that I could occasionally swap it out with the top position, depending on how high I am. Good call.

I’m with you on the peanut butter thing, and I reiterate—I feel so damn bad for people with peanut allergies. It is my dear hope that each of them get reincarnated in the next life as someone who gets to eat all the sweet, peanut-and-chocolatey goodness that this plane of existence can provide.

LC: hey, you know what’s gross? Straight peanuts in chocolate. Like Mr. Goodbars, or Babe Ruths. I just don’t like that “crunch” feeling in my candy bar. Except for Snickers, the Greatest Candy Bar on Earth, which is exempt from any and all rules and criticisms. I also object to other crunchy nuts in chocolate, like almonds and hazelnuts, because just….how dare you?

SC: Disagree, but not strongly enough to get into some shit about it. I liked me a Mr. Goodbar when I was a kid, although, does anyone else remember the Hershey’s pack of minis from Halloween? If I recall, they contained, in miniature form: Hershey bars (plain, but the old reliable workhorse of the chocolate world, right?), Hershey bars with almonds (I liked them, but wouldn’t fight about it), Mr. Goodbar (mentioned above: pretty darn good), and then there was Krackel (agreed, their unabashed ripoff of a Nestle Crunch Bar), and Special Dark, which, when you’re a kid, if someone gave you one of those, it’s like they were mad at you. But the thing I found that was most curious about the last two is that I never, ever saw them in the full bar size. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think they were embarrassed about their almost libelous ripoff of the Crunch Bar and just plain ashamed of the Special Dark to make full sized versions.

I, too, love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, so much that I might have to again revise and put them in my #3 position. But: I actually like the crunchy peanut butter version. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you a) either don’t remember that, or b) if you did, you will vehemently dispute me on this point.

LC: I do remember the crunchy version. Again, as the World’s Pickiest Eater, I did not appreciate the variety offered by the actual whole peanuts in the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups that I liked so much. Of course, once I was 35, I tried crunchy peanut butter for the first time, and now I like that even better than regular, so it’s possible that, were I re-introduced to crunchy version today, I would like that one better too.

Side note: didn’t your parents always end up eating the Special Dark bars? I sometimes think that parenthood is all tiredness and leftover candy, which might explain why I am not a parent. It does give me a new appreciation for my mom, though. She would totally eat those Special Darks for me, though now that I am recalling it, she ALSO was a fan of the Snickers, and would sometimes mock-wrestle me for those.

SC: Although I’m sure she’d let you win. Because sacrificing for their children is what parents do. It’s funny—I’m now a much bigger dark chocolate fan now than I was when I was a kid. When I was a kid, dark chocolate was, like, some twisted bastard’s idea of what chocolate should be. I imagined some inventor in a lab somewhere declaring, “I know what kids like! Chocolate! Only without the sugar! And really fucking bitter!” I think something happens to our palates when we get older—I know mine has changed to crave way more bitter flavors. That being said, if we had kids, I’d steal the shit out of those Snickers bars on Halloween. Given everything that I see our friends who have kids do for their kids, I think fair is fair.

Have we come full circle?

LC: I actually trained myself to like Dark Chocolate because I read in a women’s magazine that eating several pieces of dark chocolate after a meal would help you not eat dessert. Isn’t that SO anorexi-girl of me? I mean, when you get old, you have to count every fucking calorie, so I guess it’s good that I started that a few years ago. Now I can have exactly three pieces of that Dove Dark Chocolate before I have to sentence myself to extra treadmill time the next day. Snickers? Special occasion only, baby.

SC: Yep. The tragic truth: We can’t even write a piece IMAGINING listing our favorite candy bars without adding a disclaimer about how we actually can’t eat them. These are your 40s, kids. Savor your youth. And your Snickers bars.

My Summer Standing Desk/ Treadmill Desk Experiment!

Well well well….here I am again! I’ve been working on a BIG BIG project all summer (announcement to come soon!), and part of the time at least, I’ve been doing it on a treadmill desk that I finally got around to putting together. Because several people noticed my dramatically increased step-count on Fitbit.com and Twitter (I use the Fitbit pedometer to track my steps) and asked me what was going on and why I was walking 10 + miles per day now, I thought I would just give you a little breakdown of the desk with a photo. I really love it, and it was not complicated at all to set up.

The Treadmill: The first component in the treadmill desk is, of course, the treadmill. I use this Confidence Power Plus treadmill, which is super inexpensive and foldable. I got mine from Amazon for $199 (not a typo) and because I have Prime, it was delivered for free in two days. Winning!

The Desk: I used the IKEA “Fredrik” desk, which unfortunately they have stopped making. I got mine on Craig’s List for $60, then modified it to only have one shelf. Side note: if you are going to buy something from Craig’s List, take a friend, because MURDER. It also works great as a standing desk (I’ve been using it that way as well). If you are crafty, I bet you could just build a similar one by looking at the photo or Googling “IKEA Fredrik Desk” and downloading the pdf of the plans/ directions from IKEA. I’m just saying.

The Setup: Here’s where I give props out to Super Husband Stephan Cox, who took time out of his day to put the initial desk together, then worked with me to position it correctly. The only thing that took some finessing was actually getting the desk to fit over the treadmill, which we achieved by putting shelves underneath the base. I read an article where the guy actually disassembled part of the treadmill in order to get the controller loose, but I didn’t think this was going to have a successful outcome if I did it, so I solved this problem by bending the controller all the way forward, then setting up the top part of the desk on top of it. Yes, this does mean I have to start the treadmill by bending under the desk, and yes, this does mean that I can’t actually control the speed while I’m on it, but this has not been a problem at all (I just hop off if I want to adjust or stop it).

The Speed: This one took some trial and error. Because I am a nerd, I did all this research on how fast the treadmill should be going in order to actually get work done (including this New York Times article). I’ve found that I can keep it going at 1 mph (no, it’s not that fast) for regular writing and emailing (i.e., things that require thinking), 2 mph for things like Facebook, Twitter, and phonecalls in general, and that I need to stop and sit down for actual analytical thought/ creative problem solving. This speed is going to totally vary for you, so you will need to try it out. Also, yes, I did get a headache the first week, trying to teach my brain to multitask in this way.

Feel free to ask questions about this, which I will update within the post. If you have a home office, I highly suggest setting this up!

McDonalds Gave Ronald McDonald a Makeover and Put Him on Twitter.

This is one of those examples where a news story goes by, and then Stephan and I spend the whole day texting each other punchlines because we can’t decide what exactly is the funniest about this scenario.

Here are some of the highlights so far:

“What….did McDonald’s do a focus group and decide ‘f$%k the food, let’s put new pants on the clown?”

“Oh, you know what will make people eat more greasy chicken slurry? Put the clown on Twitter!”

“Sales are down! Clearly the problem is the clown’s jumpsuit. Get him some pants!”

By the way, here is the photo that McDonald’s released to go along with the big news about Ronald McDonald’s new pants and his social media.

I believe Stephan wins “funniest line of the day” for this one: “I’m curious as to why they decided to do the photo shoot in front of a brick wall. Probably it’s supposed to invoke a comedy club, but really it looks like he’s being held hostage.”