Paging Dr. House…
Ok, I’ll admit it—the other reason I haven’t been writing as
much lately is because I seem to have this mysterious illness that keeps coming
back—an illness not unlike the mononucleosis I enjoyed at age 17, only not as
severe. I like to think of myself as one
of those really healthy types who walks four miles a day, so I try not to dwell
on this strange part of my life. I would like to
mention, though, that I totally get the flu shots and whatever other
vaccinations they’ll give me, wash my hands all the time, and take a ton of
vitamins, just so you don’t think I’m slacking. As it turns out, if I didn’t do all these
things, I probably would be getting even sicker, even more often. And, here’s why: I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH WHITE BLOOD CELLS,
PEOPLE.
Here’s how I know this:
I keep getting this thing where I have what I think is an allergy attack (see my delightful "You're Allergic to the World" allergen test above), and
then that develops into a fever/ swollen glands/ sore throat/ feeling awful
thing, and then I have to “take it easy” for a few days, and then it goes away,
and then two weeks later it comes back. Lather, rinse, repeat. If you’ve seen me lately, I have probably
been in the middle of one of these cycles, but no one ever seems to catch this
illness from me, so don’t worry—you’re probably fine.
Yes, I have been to the doctor. No, it’s not Lyme Disease, or Lupus, and no,
my mono did not come back. What I do
have a mysterious and hereditary condition called leukopenia, which means that
I have less white blood cells than you, so don’t breath on me, and that I
actually did once get on a plane in New York healthy, and land with the flu. You’re
jealous, right? This is another reason
why I’m lukewarm on little kids, because as you probably know, they can get you
really sick even if you have enough white blood cells. So, there’s that.
It’s been bugging me, though, so last week I went to a
doctor who told me that if this condition didn’t go away and I kept getting
sick for no good reason, they were going to drill my bone marrow, because, get
this, sometimes LEUKOPENIA IS THE FIRST SIGN OF LEUKEMIA. What what WHAT?
Did I need to hear this?
No! I was like “I have a sore
throat! I’ve had that white blood cell thing for TEN
YEARS. That has nothing to do with my
bone marrow, dude!”
But, as of last night the fever came back, and the sore
throat, and with no medical explanation, I either need to be on an episode of
House, or I’m one step closer to the dreaded “Hem-Onc” department.
Send healing vibes, please.
And white blood cells if you have some. I have the 'penia! Oh, and before you ask me, no– I totally don't have any of the diseases or take any of the medications listed in that Wikipedia listing. Nope! Mysterious, right?
OK, this is terrible. I am so sorry! I have to tell you though, I am having a similar though far less serious experience. But similar in the weirdness of it all, amidst general good health. I, too, consider myself very healthy, exercise all the time, take vitamins, eat tons of fruits/veggies, etc etc etc…and then I go to the dentist last night for a routine cleaning (and have had stellar dental health my whole life) and am suddenly told that since the last time I was in my whole mouth has apparently become infected from gum disease (note: not quite as icky as it sounds since there are no symptoms and it’s not contagious). And I must immediately undergo a series of lengthy and painful treatments. Or my teeth will fall out. Also, I am apparently clenching my teeth and my jaw bones are malforming. Also, I have 3 cavities. Also, I need a bite guard for the teeth clenching = more appointments. Also, I will need to see the dentist every 3 months for the rest of my life. WHAT THE…???? Can you imagine my shock? I was all like, huh? I came here for a regular cleaning. I’ve had nothing but 1 cavity in my entire life. Huh?
I’m still in shock and don’t even know how much of this if any is covered by insurance (and I happen to know the bite guard costs almost $1,000).
I’d rather have this than a condition that could be a sign of leukemia, so I’m totally NOT saying my situation is as bad as yours, but I’m experiencing that same “huh?!” feeling of surreality.
Talk about a sucky Monday.
Dear Lori –
I just did a “15 minute workout for Dummies” DVD, which was a bit uncomfortable because my tummy chub kept getting in the way. After reading your post (well, the beginning of it, before the penia/kemia part), I was like, “Man, I would love to walk 4 miles with Lori everyday and crunch on carrots.”
Onto the rest of your post…WHAT? Are they saying you’re going to get leukemia or that it’s just a possibility? If you need some of my marrow you can totally have it.
Ahhh! Please take care of yourself! And stay away from those germy kids. Those classrooms are a petridish.
Also, just so you know..I totally keep forgetting to write you an email about HCW, which I finished reading a while ago.