First, what is going on with me (because people seem to care about this): last week I baked a cake for my 3-year old goddaughter’s birthday party, then helped out with the party. This week I have been Zicam’ing the hell out of myself for a sore throat/ fever thing that I obviously picked up from the giant group of children at the party. So, that was nice. I don't think it's swine flu, but I have been tempted to call my doctor more than once. I had to cancel the first part of a business trip I was supposed to be on this week because of that illness, but I am leaving for Phoenix tomorrow for the second part, and then May-June will begin.
I am anticipating this will be a very busy summer, with the books launching, and travel for those (full book tour schedule coming so soon, I promise), and travel for work, and trying to keep up with projects and blogs, and teaching a course at UCLA—oh, did I not mention that? I am teaching a “writing for the web” type course called “Design Write” starting in June, at UCLA Extension. If you know any of my professors at UC Santa Barbara (where I did not complete my PhD, oh no no no!) you can probably imagine their faces right now, upon finding out the fact that I am teaching courses at UCLA……to give yourself an impression of what that sounds like, maybe try reading this sentence in a Welsh/ English accent after attending all of the parts of the Ring Cycle:
NO! We tried to stop her! We did everything in our power, and now she has prevailed! Somewhere, Socrates is turning over in his grave, I’m sure. Right!”
I’m not naming any names (because it’s more fun that way, don’t you think, if only three people who read this blog get the joke?), but let’s just say it’s a small, full-circle triumph in my life that I have once again been hired to instruct students. The course is going to be fun – it’s a workshop-style thing where I basically will teach you all the ways to keyword-enrich your website and market the crap out of yourself. So, here that is, if you’d like to sign up for it or know someone who wants to. It's going to be a good class, and I'm excited about it. Right now I'm doing the teacher training, and it's very involved.
But, on to another topic on my mind. Last night I was flipping channels before I went to sleep (after watching one too many episodes of Intervention—don’t even get me started on that show), and I happened to catch the tail end of that new show “The Cougar.”
Where do I even start with this? For one thing, Stacy (the cougar) IS totally hot, and honestly, a lot of the 40 year olds I know (at least here in California ) look this way. My friends, at least, are aging extremely well, which you know if you’re on Facebook. We only have a few years to go to be cougar-age, and so I was really looking at it from her perspective. The minute they showed the guys that were the “cougar bait” contestants, I literally was like “get those douchebags out of my house….right now.” Seriously, 90% of those dudes are in their early 20’s, are almost all unemployed, and cannot hold a regular conversation. I am actually scared for Stacy that she’s going to have feelings for one of them and end up raising him for the next fifteen years until he becomes a real person. Oh, was that out loud? Really—those guys look like they came right from the Cabo Cantina, and like every one of them either has crabs, or has just gotten over them by giving them away. Yikes!
Let me also add that I’m from the Palm Springs area, which means I know from cougars. If you like, I will tell you the name of the bar in La Quinta where we just had a little high school reunion last year, and I’m not kidding, the single guys were in actual danger of being swallowed alive by the cougars inside the bar, and STILL I think those boys would not have passed muster.
Also—Stacy has FOUR KIDS and TWO EX HUSBANDS? Yiiiiiikes! I’m not surprised she hasn’t been that forthcoming about this information. She looks hot, but how weird is it going to be when her new 25 year old boyfriend has to give parental advice to her 23 year old daughter? Yes, she’s 23, which means (if my math is right) that Stacy had her first child while still in high school, and yet I STILL think she can do better than the guys they’ve chosen.
Oh, and also? Instead of roses or photographs or however they do regular reality show eliminations, Stacy has to KISS all of the contestants, AT THE END OF EVERY SHOW. KISS THEM! Like, can you imagine the germs? I let a three year old kiss me over the weekend, and now I have a fever, ok? To kiss 13 people (who have crabs) all in the span of an hour? Hello! Super-bug! It is funny, though, that she has to give some of them the “kiss off,” where they go to kiss her and she turns her cheek. It’s like the ultimate cougar diss, although I almost wish that once they get eliminated, the producers would take them aside and be like “um, she has two ex husbands and four kids, so….maybe you should go back to the Cabo Cantina. You were in WAY over your head on this one.”
Oh, and finally? What is going on with Vivica A. Fox and her weird delivery of her lines? She sounds like she’s playing the role of a ghetto boot camp sergeant, with a lot of hand gestures and yelling. You’d think that for an actress, she could act more realistic.
Overall, I’m not sure I can watch this show again because a) it’s absurd on so many levels, and b) I really don’t know who to root for, if you know what I mean. Also, there is too much kissing in that show, and it really grosses me out.