Last week I took Baxter to the vet for a routine checkup and some shots. Actually, I gave him some treats, then took him for a long walk, THEN took him to the vet, because if the vet is your only out-and-about for the day? Not fair. Not cool. Sucky, in fact. Grounds for filing a complaint with the dog union.
We just switched veterinarians because our old vet was (how to put this tactfully), both insane and not great at the English, and frankly, might not even have been a real doctor. But that’s a different story. This story is about how Baxter’s life got even better at the vet last week.
If you’ll refer back to this extensive list, you’ll see that there are really a number of foods that Baxter won’t eat, and this is perhaps he is what one might call a “cat-dog,” in that he a) isn’t thrilled about coming when called, b) doesn’t eat food off the floor, oh no no no! c) really prefers kicking it by himself, and d) kind of has that personality, like “um, no—that’s ok. I don’t need you to pet me. I’m done with you.”
Anyway, the vet looks at him and gives him his shots, and then says: “Your dog has dry skin and allergies—he needs some vitamins.” This, of course, makes me feel like a crappy dog owner, so I’m like “Ok, what should I do? Change his food? Give him vitamin pills? What?!”
This is the part where I think the dog might have actually hypnotized the veterinarian, because what he said was probably the only thing that could make his life any better than it already is, and I’ve never heard of a vet telling any dog owner to do this. You be the judge.
“Give him a can of tuna three times a week, and maybe some cod liver oil pills. Oh, and some liver-flavored vitamin powder.”
This might sound disgusting to you, but I swear at that moment my dog turned around and smiled at me, like “Oh yeah. Doctor’s orders, dude. Dish up that tuna.”. He’s been enjoying this new, vitamin-enriched dream diet for about a week now, and if he had dog email, he would be telling all of his friends about how his nefarious tuna plan worked perfectly. That’s how thrilled he is.