In case you don’t know this interesting tidbit about me, I use walking as my primary form of exercise and “thinking time,” to the tune of about 2 hours of walking per day (yes, per day). I’ve always done this, and I really count it as one of the most enjoyable parts of the day— in addition to killing multiple birds with one stone (exercise, contemplation, walking the dog, running errands), I also listen to a lot of books on tape, AND I end up coming up with themes for this blog, like this one, which was compiled over a series of days in which I kept randomly looking up and noticing these hilariously-worded signs.
This first one I like because it’s so vehement, but in ways that are maybe only known to the person who made it. This hangs in the window of the ham store on Wilshire— the ham store that has a line around the block on Easter and Christmas, but like, one or two people in it the rest of the year, so I always wonder exactly how they’re making their rent. Apparently it’s not by making specialty ham sandwiches, as evidenced by this gem of hand-made signage:
This sign was clearly made by someone who’d had ENOUGH of people asking for deals on roast beef sandwiches and turkey sandwiches at the ham store. They sell HAM, ok? Get it straight!
I also really like this one, which is less of an instructional sign and more of an existential consideration: you MAY park here, or you might not. It’s really up to you. You might also want to park in the E*Trade parking lot, because it has valet.
This one caught my eye as I walked by and watched a lady try to get in when the bank was closed, then stand there and stare at the sign for a full minute, as if the time-space continuum of the bank’s hours were lost on her. Or maybe she noticed that the bank is open the same hours Monday – Thursday, AND Friday, so maybe, like me, she was wondering why Friday needs its own separate line on the door.
I noticed this sign on Friday night while stopping by for a cheap hot fudge sundae (because I’m nine):
Now, granted, this sign appears in what we’ve termed the “Most Depressing and Hopeless McDonald’s in West L.A.” mostly because it’s almost all outdoors, and is filled with homeless people in various stages of losing their minds and/ or eating fried food. But, they have an outdoor service window and you can walk right up with the dog, so that’s why we do there. I do think it’s interesting, though, that this “No Panhandeling/ Loitering/ Trespassing” Sign is done up in “McDonald’s” branded typeface, and that it has the little McDonald’s M on it so you know where you are. You can almost hear the “I’m lovin’ it” themesong, only applied to each of these: “Da da da a DA…No trespassing!”
And finally, I really like this meta-sign, which is right next to a
sign advertising flan. You see, they have the flan sign out, but they
don’t have the actual FLAN yet, so– sorry! Or, are they sorry that
it’s coming soon? We may never know. Logic would tell ME to just keep
the flan sign behind the counter until the actual flan is available,
but this works too.