We’re back from the east coast, and I’ve now opened all the mail, done the laundry, and sorted through all the backlogged emails from the trip, which has created an even more gigantic to-do list of stuff I have to do now. Did you ever notice that when you’re traveling for work and going to meetings for work, you have alot more work to do when you get back? Positively ironical.
Meanwhile, the dog is back from his stint at dog daycare, and is so tired, all he can do is this:
Um, don’t try to tempt him with toys and stuff. He’s done. He barked himself stupid, and now he’ll thank you to get him some hot tea and dim the lights so he can have some quiet time. Earlier, Stephan was waving that stuffed monkey in front of his nose, and he didn’t even bother lifting his head. It’s totally hard being a jet-setting dog, you know.
So, where to even start? We were in New York for most of last week, and I took alot of hilarious photos, starting with this on
e, snapped on the way up Lexington:
If you’ll notice, it’s not just that she’s wearing a full-on fur coat and matching Russian-style hat.
It’s that she’s wearing all this, and she’s about to get on a city bus, which you can see pulling up on the left. See, she spent all her cab money on her outfit, and now she’s using her Metrocard to make up the difference.
And, let’s not overlook this charming ad, which is now appearing in the subway:
See, the American Lung Association wants you to get a CAT scan of your lungs, to see if you have cancer. And "cat got your lung?" is how they’re going to convince you to do that, because that’s not disgusting at all. Not one bit. In their defense, they ARE a non-profit and probably don’t have the advantage of Midtown advertising geniuses on their side, but wouldn’t you think someone in their office, like even the janitor or something, could have been like "um….that ad makes me think a cat is going to eat my lung, man."
One night last week we went to see a show at Upright Citizens Brigade (don’t even ask me which night, the week is a blur)– before the show I went into Gristede’s to get some Skittles (because I’m nine), and for some reason, Gristede’s now has a talking cow:
Talking Cow Guy is all "Hello, and welcome to Gristede’s, where we hope to provide you with an optimum shopping experience." Only, it was raining that night, and maybe the talking cow blew a fuse, because it kept going on at random moments and then shorting out in a weird robot-y kind of way, and was driving the people in the store crazy. Oh, and also– Gristede’s doesn’t need a talking cow to make people want to shop there. They need to figure out a way so that their stores don’t smell like feet.
What about this one? It’s on the side of one of those "Roving Mitzvah" vans in Times Square, for those people who feel so guilty about going out the night before that they want to stop and self-flagellate right there:
I’m not Jewish, so I’m not really concerned about who Moschiach is or that he’s coming now. I’m really more interested in that stinky look on his face. I mean, DAMN! I think the caption should read: Moschiach is coming, and he’s PISSED! Run!
Stephan will want you to know that he came up with that line. And he did. So there you go.
Saturday Night we went to go see Passing Strange on Broadway, which I won’t make a joke about because it was So. Darn. Good.
I don’t think I’ve seen a show this good since….well, for a long time. If you’re out that way, I’m going to highly recommend you go and experience it for yourself, because it is just remarkable.
On Monday we moved on to Philadelphia, where Stephan and some of our other friends ventured out to this charming cheesesteak establishment to pick up some lunch:
This is actually a step up from Pat’s, which is the charming cheesesteak establishment from the movie Rocky– the one with the trashcan fire out front? Yeah, that one.
Apparently at Geno’s, there is a big sign by the counter that says "This is America, so ORDER IN ENGLISH."
And yes, the cheesesteak kicked ass.
Next week: more blog entries, a super-human amount of work on some books, and a podcast! I also have exciting news about a new project I’m working on for a big company, which I will tell you all about soon. Could I be more vague? The answer is no, I could not.