Top Ten Story Songs of All Time

In honor of the fact that I am going to see my friend Joe Henry in concert on Friday with Loudon Wainwright III, and also because I have been asked to audition for "Don’t Forget the Lyrics" next week, a show on which I would be great because if you know me, you know that I know way too many 80’s and 90’s lyrics and have absolutely no compunction about sharing them, I thought I would compile a list of ten great "story songs."

You know story songs, right? These are songs that AREN’T allegorical or representational in any way. They are intentially ironic at times, and this is why I find them funny. These are actual stories, about people, and you better sit down, because most of them are long and they have a point to make. I’m not saying they’re all bad– in fact, some of them are good. I am saying, though, that you know one when you hear one. This is no plaintive Robert Plant wail about how "a woman done him wrong." No, this is a story, about a guy, named Mr Bojangles, who gets paid to dance for you even though he’s old and that is sad.

Granted, most of these songs are from the 70’s and 80’s– maybe there was a "story song" phase going on back then which has since died out. I actually thought I was the only one who called them this, until I did a Google search and found this list. Go figure! There’s even some overlap.

Anyway, here are some of my favorites.

1. Mr. Bojangles, as performed by Sammy Davis Jr. (apparently written by Jerry Jeff Walker). Quite possibly the saddest song in the history of time. So filled with pathos, I’m surprised he can even sing it without melting into a puddle of angst. "Silver hair and ragged shirt and baggy pants….he could jump so high, then he’d lightly touch down." Ouch! Stop! It’s too sad! Mr. Bojangles is essentially an old alcoholic with no pension and no hope. All he can do is dance the old soft shoe for his supper, even though his arthritic knees will barely hold him up. Mr. Bojangles…..daaance. It hurts!

2. Escape (The Pina Colada Song), by Rupert Holmes. This is the song where the guy is fed up with his woman, so he responds to an ad in the paper looking for the perfect mate, and they have to like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, and then he responds to the ad, and they meet at a bar called O’Malley’s, and – surprise!– just happens to be his same girlfriend that he was tired of, so they have a good laugh and you want to kill yourself. To me, this is the musical equivalent of a gigantic ball of frosting. Once you hear the opening bars of this song, you know you’re going to have to sit on down, because this is going to take awhile.

3. Operator, by Jim Croce. This is actually a good song, in my opinion, but you do have to admit that it sticks a little too closely to the narrative, like "OK, now he’s getting out his money, now he’s telling the operator the story of his life…..let’s forget all that, and give me the number if you can find it, so I can call just to tell her I’m fine and to show….." I always pictured the operator on the other end of the line, like "Sir….are you going to place the call or not? I’m not a psychologist. Sir…I’m disconnecting you." I love the end where he goes "you can keep the dime." Thanks!

4. Copacabana– Barry Manilow. Again, not saying it’s not a good song, but by the end you do know an awful lot about Lola, and Rico, and the Copacabana, the hottest club north of Havana. I love how these songs always circle back to the inciting incident of the relationship…..they fell in looooove. I think this one is on the A.V. Club’s list too.

5. Rocky Raccoon, by The Beatles. Rocky raccoon | checked into his room | Only to find gideons bible
Rocky had come | equipped with a gun | To shoot off the legs of his rival. No real mystery here– you pretty much know what the song is about, which to me is the hallmark of a true story song. This song is probably a riff on an American story song, because The Beatles were just cool like that. Some say that this song is a parody of a Bob Dylan song. Did you know that Phish recorded a cover of Rocky Raccoon? Yeah, I didn’t care about that either.

6. Cat’s in the Cradle, by Harry Chapin’s wife. This isn’t just a story song. It’s a story EPIC. This song covers, like FORTY YEARS of this guy’s life– during the span of one song, you see him as a kid, growing up with an absentee father, going to middle school, having all of his formative experiences, and then– lo and behold!– BECOMING an absentee father himself. When you comin home dad, I don’t know when– we’ll get together then, DAD. We’re gonna have a good time then. Indeed. This song is included on an album called "Verities and Balderdash." Enough said. 

Update:  After I posted this list, I got a few comments from someone named "Amos," who wanted me to get my facts straight.  As far as this song goes, he wanted me to know that it was written by Harry Chapin’s wife, about his life on the road and how he never saw his kids, which frankly, is what I thought I was writing.  So, to clear up the confusion, yes– that’s what I meant.  It’s about HIM, and that’s why it’s so ironical.

7. Hotel California, by The Eagles. I’m sure some people think this song is a metaphor for something, but to me it’s a song about a guy….on a dark desert highway, cool wind in his hair, blah blah blah. Not that it’s not catchy. It is. But it is also very, very literal.

8. Same Auld Lang Syne, by Dan Fogelberg. Don’t remember this one? Here, let me refresh your memory:

Met my old lover in the grocery store,
The snow was falling Christmas Eve.
I stole behind her in the frozen foods,
And I touched her on the sleeve.

She didn’t recognize the face at first,
But then her eyes flew open wide.
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse,
And we laughed until we cried.

Just the mention of the frozen foods section gets it a place on this list. Pure exposition, this song. I’m surprised he doesn’t start talking about how he’s "singing in a microphone, a little hungover from last niiiiight." That literal. Stephan has this to say about Dan Fogelberg: "Dan Fogelberg wears ladies underpants. He is the kind of guy who cries when he "makes love." Dan Fogelberg should get a sex change and get it over with, for he is a woman."

9. Don’t You Want Me, Baby, by Human League. A "he said, she said" story song. Better than the Odyssey, really. "I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar!" "No you weren’t!"

10. Splish Splash, by Bobby Darin. He’s taking a bath, ok? He’s in the bath. Then he gets of the bath, puts his towel on, and discovers there’s a party goin’ on in his house. That’s all there is to it, really. Does he have to spell it out for you? Well, apparently he does.

11. Ziggy Stardust, by David Bowie. This is a special bonus story song, because while I’m sure it’s a story, I’m not sure what the story is about exactly. Spiders from Mars, playing guitar left handed….it SEEMS like a narrative, but it’s so far in the depths of David Bowie’s mind, you’d need a decoder ring and some Cliff Notes to find your way out of there. Great song, though.

Stephan also wants me to include some songs by this guy, Red Sovine.  This are less real songs and more of an old guy with a geetar, just talkin’ about a dawg named Little Joe, and how Little Joe saved him from a burning big rig, and how a crippled kid named Teddy Bear gets lonely and it helps to talk over the CB radio .   

And with that….have a nice weekend!

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