This is a continuation of yesterday’s post, where I was talking about people who are grateful to have their jobs. This is the other side of the spectrum– the kids who are five minutes from losing everything, and are just going to have to learn their lessons, then end up coming back again when they can be grateful. Because for me, this whole topic boils down to gratitude. Get the door slammed in your face enough times, and the very moment it opens, you are IN, and you never want to pry that thing back open.
These are the people who don’t even know there IS a door yet, have waltzed right in, and have had everything handed to them, only to throw it away. I think when this happens to you, you end up becoming so jaded that you, for instance, camp out in the dressing room of Neiman Marcus, saying things like "Can we have my dog messengered over?"
Sadly, these people need time and perspective to learn the error of their ways. And by the time they get that, they’ll probably be irrelevant. If what yesterday’s group had in common was an amazing defiance of the Odds of Hollywood and an appreciation for what they’ve got, these guys have "too much, too soon" syndrome. This is how Whitney Houston goes from being the next Aretha Franklin to being a segment on "The Soup."
1. Lindsay Lohan — needs to go to college and eat Ramen noodles. She has lost all of her perspective.
2. Britney Spears. Seriously? I know it’s mean to kick someone when they’re down, but….seriously?
3. Winehouse. If she’s not dead by the magical Dead Musician Age of 27, I’ll eat a bug.
4. Mischa Barton from The O.C. — quit before the show ended, to do movies. Now just unemployed.
5. Joss Stone. I know, everyone thinks she’s so level headed, but did you read this? Oh yeah, she’s going full speed down Irrelevance Road if she keeps up that crappy attitude.
6. Michael Vick. It really would have been better if he’d had a HUMAN fighting ring at his house. Because…animal cruelty? Those PETA people are never going to let up now. It’s too bad, too, because he’s a really good quarterback.
7. Michelle Rodriguez. She’s not even on LOST anymore, and she’s going to jail for violating the terms of her DUI. Plucked out of obscurity for Girl Fight, only to return to obscurity….in the Los Angeles County Correctional system.
8. Nathaniel Marston, who you might not have heard of yet, and who you probably never will, because he’s about to be fired from One Life to Live after ATTACKING THREE PEOPLE WITH A CRATE in New York the other day. Some really famous people got their start on soaps (Julianne Moore, Kelly Ripa, Josh Duhamel from Las Vegas, to name a few), but I GUARANTEE none of them attacked people with a crate. Smooth.
9. Pete Doherty, who frankly I had never heard of before he was a bad influence on Kate Moss. That guy looks like he smells like feet, and is moments away from his fatal overdose.