Planted like the mighty oak…..
OK, so Amy Winehouse is a total mess– has amazing talent, but can’t stay off the drugs. Same thing with Lindsay, Britney, and whatever other self-sabotaging idiot that’s in the headlines this week. I’m even going to put Michael Vick in this category, because running a dog fighting ring at the height of your multi-million dollar quarterbacking career with the Atlanta Falcons? Stupid. Same thing with drinking and driving , showing up late to work, or quitting a show or a movie because you think you can do better. I’m just pointing this out because, um, it’s HARD to get to the top of the mountain, and it’s just amazing to watch people totally throw it all away because they just don’t know any better.
On the other end of the spectrum, you’ll find a smattering of people like Kyle Chandler from Friday Night Lights. This is Chandler’s first big series since 1996, unless you count his big "Gray’s Anatomy" storyline. I don’t know him, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you’d have to kill that guy to get him to leave that show. He’s 42 years old, and he is not. Fooling. Around. He’s been waiting so long and has had so many no-name acting jobs, he’s probably early to work every day, like "How much press do you need me to do? NO PROBLEM, man!" He’d probably help with the lights if they asked him to.
I guess the point I’m making here is that success in your teens/ twenties can be hazardous to your health, AND your career. It’s a sad irony that, while youth and beauty are really the commodities that are most integral to the making of a superstar, few if any of them have the temperment to have a (more than) full time job, and to maintain their composure when put under that kind of pressure.
It is in honor of Kyle Chandler and everyone else who never gave up that I give you:
Nine People Who Are Never. Going. Anywhere. Planted in the ground like the mighty oak. Been around the block, never going back.
1. Vanessa Williams on Ugly Betty. Remember the Miss America scandal? No? Well, Vanessa Williams does.
2. Naomi Watts. Do you know how long it took her to get that Mulholland Drive role? How much do we imagine it sucked to be Nicole Kidman’s best friend for thirteen years while she married Tom Cruise and was the biggest star in the world? I’m guessing she’s never complained about long hours on a movie set or an early call time.
3. David Caruso on CSI: Miami. Remember when he quit NYPD Blue to make movies like Kiss of Death and Jade? Oh, you don’t like his weird acting style? Well, he doesn’t give a shit. He’s employed, dude. You’d need a tow truck and a winch to get him away from that show.
4. Alyssa Milano. Laugh if you will, but that woman is 34 years old, and has been employed almost continuously since 1984. Yeah, that’s not a typo. That’s almost 24 years of work! If she worked at G.E., she’d get a gold watch and a pension! Also, she was an Executive Producer of Charmed, and is getting a gazillion dollars from DVD sales and syndication, and designs clothes. Damn!
5. Kyle Chandler. See above.
6. Kathyrn Morris from Cold Case. Because it took her 14 years to get that job, I hate to say it, but I can kind of understand why she doesn’t eat. Did I mention how totally skinny she was at the Emmys?
7. Jaime Pressley. Again, she worked so long to get "My Name is Earl," you can hardly blame her for
losing her baby weight in eight weeks because (not making up this quote), "I don’t want to lose my job!!"
8. All those ladies on Desperate Housewives. You are actually more likely to be killed by a sniper than be hired on a series if you’re a woman over 40 in Hollywood. I know there are some rumors about how it’s all drama on that set because they’re all divas and stuff, but I think this is PR hype. They may not get along, but I think you’d have to run over one of them with a truck to get them to quit.
9. Sally Field on Brothers & Sisters. See above.
Tomorrow’s list: Top Ten People who are blowing away like the wind, possibly to resurface in twenty years…..