We were catching up on the show "Episodes" the other night- a show that I like not only because it is very, very dark satire of the entertainment industry and the city of Los Angeles, but because someone I know is in it and I'm happy for her (hi Mircea!). Of course, that show is much funnier if you've lived in LA and been around that kind of thing, and one reason is the built-in geography jokes. How funny is it when Matt Leblanc calls in the middle of the night and needs a sober ride, so they go pick him up at this dive bar in Santa Clarita (they live in Brentwood or maybe BeHi, I think), and on the way back their gps keeps going "get on the 134" or "turn right onto the bridge," which of course is funny because it's so totally wrong, and they don't know how to turn it off, so they just keep arguing with the gps woman?
Only funny in an "I've been there, that is super frustrating" kind of way.
Which brings me to my main topic, my love/ hate relationship with my GPS. As you might know, I am directionally challenged, so GPS in the car has made a world of difference for me, and most of the time, trying to get to a new place does not end up with me crying on the side of the road. Let's be honest– just not having to look at a Thomas' guide every four blocks has made a world of difference.
That said, the people in "Episodes" have my exact GPS lady situation, only now it's on the east coast and I actually managed to turn the lady's voice off, and this has apparently angered her more, to the point where she keeps sending me to my destination by way of the Bronx in the middle of the night, or maybe I would like a tour of the side streets of beautiful downtown Newark? Would I maybe like to go to New Jersey by going to Brooklyn, then across some random bridge, then come up from the north when the Holland Tunnel was right there? Oh yes– gps lady is mad now, so she is thinking of new and innovative ways to get me to my destination while assuring that I am scared, pay the most amount of tolls possible, and that it takes me the longest amount of time. Sure, I get the choice of three different routes in theory, but since I can't see them up close first, I usually just go with the one that's the least distance, but which my gps lady knows is a bait and switch because there is always construction (or the George Washington bridge, where THERE IS ALWAYS A TRAFFIC JAM NO MATTER WHAT TIME IT IS), and this always adds an hour and ends up with me slamming my hand on the steering wheel, like "why do I have no natural sense of direction? WHY?". Because it's not like I can just confidently turn around and get on another route, you know what I'm saying? I'm the one who makes a google map AND uses gps, dude. I will not be able to get there on my own, no.
So, bottom line, even though I can't hear her saying "turn right at the bridge," I know that's where she's taking me, and I don't like it.
