“Are You Going to Write About This On Your Blog?”
Lately, I’m getting this question more and more– someone will tell me something totally bizarre or random, then cover their mouth and furtively glance around and say "Are you going to write about this on your blog?"
Well, let me just clear this up for you. OF COURSE I’m going to write about it on my blog. I consider it my purpose in life to make your dinner party, or your workday, or your next conversation more entertaining, so I think it’s my MISSION to write about stuff that I find funny and weird, like a pimp on a bus, or a person named Groovy Nipples Schwartzman. OF COURSE I’m not going to use real names of people who tell me these things, because then no one would ever tell me anything ever again, right? And I want to keep writing this blog forever, or at least until I win the lottery or get a million dollar book contract. And even then, Andy Dick washing his food with vodka is still probably just going to be too good not to share.
Also, in response to my fear of mold, my friend K. sent me this horrifying anecdote, which you know is only going to fuel the fire of crazy:
cleaning her brother’s room ( he is a drummer in a band I used to work with)..she opened an old
McDonalds bag that had the moldy remnants of a Big Mac and the mold spores hit
her in the eye. She flushed the eye and after a few hours and much pain ended
up in hospital with a corneal infection….Massive antibiotics and two days in
the hospital , she was back on her feet, but this easily could have caused
cornea damage if left untreated.
at McDonalds, and for damn sure will never clean her lazy drummer brother’s
room , ever again.