We have this expression in our house, “Never let the technology win,” and sometimes I will go to somewhat-absurd and definitely hilarious lengths to make this true. Because you see, your brain is infinitely more powerful and innovative than a website, or a scanner, or a printer, or a social media platform you don’t understand, and the minute you throw in the towel, that is when Skynet becomes aware and the computers take over (Terminator 2 was the best Terminator movie! Holla!)
Case in point: my printer/ scanner/ fax machine combo, which was probably $150, refuses to scan. Every time I try to scan, it gives me this error:
Ummm….what’s it talking about? That is just not even true. It HAS the software and it knows good and well where my computer is, and in fact, it prints totally normally every single time. I like that when I ask it to perform a different function, it pretends not to know about my computer.
Every time I see this error, I feel like this (warning: language!):
Exactly. What is that printer talking about? I know it knows my computer. I refuse to accept the eventuality that I will not be able to scan. Scanning is an important part of my life.
Next step: open up PhotoShop and try to trick the scanner into scanning by using the “import” function.
This does not work. I am tempted to throw the printer/ scanner out the window, but then I remember that I did this once, years ago, and (mercifully) didn’t kill anyone, so I’ve already used my one free pass for “throwing electronics out the window with no consequences.” This means I either have to find another way or admit defeat and give this printer/ scanner to Goodwill, which I am loathe to do because a) I don’t want to pass this problem on to someone else, and b) I still have a bunch of ink cartridges for this specific printer, those things ain’t cheap, and did I mention that the printer works fine? I will not concede defeat!
Next (this is where it gets absurd), I use the Finder to “Find” the printer (since I'm on a Mac and the printer isn’t a permanent part of the toolbar). I open up the software for the printer, manually start the scanner, et voila! I have scanned one page. Then I have to use the Finder to “Find” the scan, because it auto-saves into its own hidden folder, just to spite me, THEN I have to pull the image into PhotoShop and cut it up/ export it because the scanner likes to scan in a weird format with a lot of space around it now, and I’m trying to ignore this.
This whole process takes approximately 45 bajillion minutes, during which I could certainly be doing something more productive, but every time I successfully complete it, I then flip off the scanner, like “Ha! Another day—I win, you lose!”
The absurd part is that I forget this solution every time I’m done scanning, so I repeat steps 1 – 3 every single time I have something to scan. I probably could reduce the time this takes by making a Post-It note of my janky workaround, but I resist doing that because if I had to look at that every day, I would be embarrassed for myself.
Please tell me I am not the only person with one of these non time-saving solutions that is performed simply for the principle of the thing.
