OK, so, you guys know I'm on Amanda Bynes-watch, right? I think she is in the midst of a big ol' crazy meltdown, only she's not quite as famous as Britney Spears was when she had HER big ol' meltdown, so Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew aren't motivated to "reach out" and help her, know what I'm saying? Actually, Stephan and I were just talking about how Justin Timberlake is so awesome and together, and wondering what his secret is, because it seems like every single other child star goes through an epic meltdown at some point, where they realize that their youth was taken away, and they act out in a career-ruining way.
Case in point: Amanda Bynes. She's had all that crazy trouble with traffic violations and bad decisions over the past couple of years, and then every once in awhile she surfaces again and does something crazy like talking to herself in the bathroom of a cupcake store, or tweets some weird, vague-bloggy stuff about her love life. If you'll recall, I actually wrote her a letter last year, urging her to get some help for her clearly undiagnosed mental issues that she looks to be self-medicating. On a side note, I saw Amanda Bynes (pre-meltdown) at the Knitting Factory in LA once, and Good Lord was she skinny. Maybe she went crazy from sheer lack of calories, y'all. The industry is scary!
But, alas, Bynes is back, and she has not availed herself of the Screen Actors Guild mental health coverage. I have to comment on this photo that she tweeted yesterday. Let's take a look.
Here we have Amanda Bynes, slathered with fake tan and eye makeup, wearing what looks to be a curly wig (or maybe it's her hair. What do I know?). She has some facial piercings, which are never a good choice when you are having mental issues, and PS, how do you sleep with piercings sticking out of your face? I'm actually wondering. She is also sporting an orange hat that looks like she took it off a dirty skateboarder at the Third Street Promenade. The cumulative effect is quite insane.
Also, this photo is weird. She's not taking the picture, but she's looking at herself in a Mac compact. Is she trying to hide her weirdness, and if so, WHY DID SHE TWEET THIS PICTURE? I think I just disappeared into the Matrix.
Perhaps most disturbing about this photo is the fact that Amanda Bynes now looks like a female impersonator dressed as Amanda Bynes, only I can't even say that with confidence, because I actually think a drag queen would do a better Amanda Bynes impression than the real Amanda Bynes is doing right now. I have observed this phenomenon in person several times with people who I know who have gone mental over plastic surgery, until finally they turn the corner and end up looking like a version of themself from the future who is trying to look younger. The net result of this is the ADDITION of several years over and above your real age, plus people staring at you quizzically all the time because frankly, you just do not look right. This is also the unintended result of people who "won't discuss their age," because it opens up a weird loop in your mind that screams "HOW OLD ARE YOU? JUST TELL ME?"
That is what I'm saying about Bynes. Now she's just occupying a space in my mind where regular Amanda Bynes used to be, only now she's Mekka Amanda Bynes with a side of Dee Snyder.