Don’t ask me why, but Stephan and I were talking the other day about Kentucky Fried Chicken, and how that is probably the food that is # 1 on the list of “sounds so good in theory, then gives you the worst stomachache 30 minutes after you’re done eating it.” It has probably been more than 10 years since I’ve even eaten at a KFC, but I am glad I experienced it, because who doesn’t have a great memory involving KFC? The 2 piece dinner with the mashed potato/ gravy combo and that biscuit? Please, so delicious. (Side note– the biscuit is probably the only thing I would still eat—remember how good those biscuits were? Stephan claims that this is because each biscuit is made with one whole stick of butter. I say delicious!).
Specifically, we were discussing how the “Lil’ Bucket Parfait,” which of course is the pudding/ graham cracker concoction in a plastic cup in the refrigerated case at the front of the store, was really the thing that guaranteed the stomachache—the parfait pushes the already-consumed chicken grease and carbs right over the limit, making your stomach lining go “You know what? This is not ok.” And then you lay there for an hour, groaning because you should NOT HAVE HAD THAT PARFAIT. The “Lil’” makes it seem so innocuous—how could you not have it??
We then started to speculate that the “Lil Bucket Parfait” is somehow karmic revenge sent by the mistreated chickens they use to make the KFC (we call this “murder chicken” in our house, especially when we’re being all food self-righteous). Maybe the ghosts of the mistreated chickens past conspired to create the Lil’ Bucket Parfait to make us feel even worse about consuming them. I think you will agree, “Lil Bucket Parfait” is the cutest, most adorable combination of words in the world (aside from “cudgel” and “snacks” which are also so adorable they make my cheeks hurt.
To summarize, if you eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken, zombie chicken ghosts are haunting you through that Lil’ Bucket Parfait to cause you to have the worst stomachache of your life. Fact. Don’t even get me started on the evils of the Double Down.
