Let's just get this out of the way first: I don't want to sound like I'm seething with jealously here, but really, I'm only human, and there's only so much I can take.
It's Gwyneth Paltrow, y'all. She is my kryptonite. She's tall, thin, beautiful, was born into a Hollywood family so she's got the whole nepotism thing going on. She was engaged to Brad Pitt and then married a rockstar, has two cute little kids (boy and girl, of course), has a house in the Hamptons, is friends with Jay Z, won an Academy Award when she was 25 or something, apparently she cooks like a chef, she speaks fluent Spanish, and now….
She's making a country album, and her costars in this country-themed film she made last year are saying she's actually good enough to make it as a country singer. Also, there was a picture of her in my People Magazine over the weekend (don't hate, my brain needs a break sometimes), and now I am convinced that Gwyneth Paltrow is incapable of taking a bad picture, PLUS she looks good in orange.
Enough already, man! The worst part is that from everything I've read, heard, and gathered, she's NOT down to earth about all this. In fact, some have even called her "smug," like she fully expects her life to go this way, and that she has no idea what it's like to be a regular human being who doesn't get every single thing they want. Bottom line: if you are one of these people, you ABSOLUTELY MUST overcompensate in the other direction by being exceedingly down to earth, charitable, and nice to people.
Maybe I'd be smug too if I were that perfect and everything came so easily to me, but I kind of feel like she should go out of her way to be cool and gracious and grateful about all this good fortune, don't you?The smugness pushes it over the edge for me, it's impossible for me to be happy for her, and instead, every time I see a photo of her in a magazine, I feel like we go to the same high school and she's some cheerleader that everyone envies because she never gets pimples, has cool parents, and gets good grades without even trying. Yuck.
While I'm on the subject, you know who else I would like to invite to knock it off? Taylor Swift. And, I swear, if not for all that humanitarian work, Angelina Jolie. Mostly people who don't acknowledge every single moment how lucky they are for the breaks they've gotten.
Any people you'd like to invite to knock it off? I'm making a list, mostly so I can keep an eye out for some kind of precipitous fall.
