WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
Not you, of course. This is just the theme of the post, so I thought I would give it a grabby title.
So, hey—did you know that if you wash all the skunk off of a
big black dog by using a solution made of hydrogen peroxide and some other stuff
that the vet told you to use, and then you rub him with lemons because the
smell is still not gone, and then you leave him on the deck in the sun, he will
turn slightly orange?
Well, now you know.
Aside from the mild reactivating of the skunk odor when it rained the
other day, he is mostly fine, though I am still not letting him ride in the
car, because I am mean.
This week has been very busy with work again—I took on a new
client even though I keep telling myself that I have enough work to do as it
is, but then people call me with their interesting projects and I’m all “ok,
how much work could that be?” And then
the question answers itself when I am still in front of the computer at 11:00
at night. So, there’s that.
Stephan is in Los Angeles right now doing fancy voiceover
things, but before he left we made a totally hilarious list that I will share
with you now. It is called “WHAT IS THE
MATTER WITH YOU?” and we have been adding to it all week.
“WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?” concerns advertising,
products, and certain people we observe.
It is more of a designation than a true category grouping, and the criteria are very broad. For instance,
my friend Lisa sent me an email this week about standing in line at the airport
in back of a guy who had on a belt, and he was wondering if he should take off
that belt, and it turned out that the BELT WAS MADE OF BULLETS. So, that guy goes into the “WHAT IS THE
MATTER WITH YOU?” category—and really, shouldn’t that category come with a fine of some
kind? Pull it together, man! You’re at the airport. The answer is “No, you can’t take that on the
plane, you can’t wear a bullet belt, just no NO NO.”
Here are some other things that have fallen into this
category this week:
–Volkswagon dealership commercial in
Connecticut where the main selling point is the owner of the dealership proudly
proclaiming that he has a Jetta, and that this Jetta has 264,000 miles. Um….WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? Why are you telling us that you have a car
that old, and if you own the dealership, why don’t you just trade up? This commercial does not make me want to buy
a car. In fact, this commercial makes me wonder how this guy even owns a dealership and has the wherewithal to pull a radio commercial together. That is how much it doesn't work.
–That Pizza Hut (could be Domino’s) commercial where
the guy is counting his quarters, and then he realizes it’s Wednesday, and this
means he could either use the quarters to do laundry, OR he could go get some
50 cent wings, and….he chooses the wings.
Again, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
You obviously don’t have a woman in your life, because she’d be like “Pull
yourself together, take those quarters and do your laundry—you smell like last
week’s wings.”
Things that were weird to me this week, but not quite weird
enough to qualify for “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?” status:
–The “Runaway General.” I am actually saving my in-depth commentary
on the General McChrystal situation until I get some insight from my father The
Colonel, but all in all, I wonder what would make a five-star General shoot his
mouth off like that when you don’t even get to BE a five-star General without a
ton of politicking. Mysterious.
Maybe he wanted to get out of his Afghanistan assignment, but still, there are better ways.
– A magazine ad that I totally thought was for
perfume, until I realized….it was for a cancer center. Yikes….a rude awakening! If you’ll notice, the copy reads “She’s just
discovered….an exclusive spa, a luxurious retreat, or “a better way to treat
her cancer.” Apparently this is how they
advertise cancer treatment centers in Westchester, NY, but it just seems like a
weird approach, given the fact that if you don’t read the label closely, you’re thinking “perfume” until you actually
peel back the label to see what it smells like, only to reveal that….in fact it
smells like a cancer treatment center, and then you’re all weirded out.
How is your week going? Observe anything weird or amusing or that would make you shout "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" I'm curious, really. I personally think the summer heat and the long days make people a little bit crazy.