A couple of months ago a Blockbuster Video location in my
neighborhood went out of business, or I guess technically they just closed that
location, since the chain itself is still alive. Weird, right? It's odd to see
a chain store close.
I mean, whatever, it's inconvenient that they closed
the one I could walk to, and (in case someone from Blockbuster is reading this)
the closure actually made me decide to renew my Netflix account, so that's a
double income loss if you're keeping track. But, on the other hand, the store
was so small that they barely ever had any good movies anyway, so I can kind of
see why they closed it, as it probably costs a fortune to rent space right there
on San Vicente next to the Peet's and the stationery store.
Anyhoo, the
place was vacant for a couple of months, then presto! As if overnight, the wood
barricades are taken down to reveal– a bank. First Republic Bank, to be
exact.
Um, I don't know if anyone is keeping track, but this is not
exactly a banner year for banks. I consider myself pretty financially savvy,
and I am about two more bad financial reports away from stuffing my dog's bed
with money, ok? I am CERTAINLY not in the market for a new bank. Not even
looking. Not even willing to go on a date. Nope. Not even drinks, or brunch.
No savings account, no CD, no no no!
This is so baffling to me (even
more than the dog poop in a bag on the grass or Chaz Bono's new style), because at the rate banks are
failing and being closed down, this hardly seems like a wise choice to replace
an underperforming Blackbuster Video location. Oh, you're offering good rates
on mortgages? NO THANK YOU. It seems like the owner of this building went
"hmmm….how could I make even LESS money than I'm making on a tiny and unimpressive Blockbuster?
Should I sell parkas in Los Angeles? Maybe…..ice skates? What ELSE do people
really not need right now? Oh– I've got it! Another bank!"
I tried and
tried to come up with an apt analogy for this bad decision, even looking up this
entertaining list of discontinued McDonald's menu items. I tried this one:
"that's like McDonald's going 'no one's buying the Philly Cheesesteak sandwich–
let's discontinue it and replace it with a hamburger made entirely of liver.".
Pretty good, I thought, but then Stephan came up with a better one: that's like
trading in your Hyundai…..for a Pinto.". Boom!
I am keeping an eye out
for when the FCC comes and takes over that bank, and it turns into a store that
sells expensive dog collars, which is EXACTLY the kind of thing that would be
big in this neighborhood, you know what I'm saying?
