Anyhow, while I was watching TV I saw a commercial that reminded me that awhile ago, I was going to go on a rant about, like, “What’s going on with these drugs, the side effects of which are worse than the conditions they’re supposed to be treating?” This is a topic I like to mention, actually– oh, you’re going to treat my eczema by giving me tuberculosis? No thanks! But, then I saw a new one to add to the list– eyelash enhancer that can CHANGE THE COLOR OF YOUR EYES or mess you up in other ways. FDA-enhanced EYELASH ENHANCER. For your thin eyelashes. Because you are insane and have never heard of “Mascara” or “False eyelashes for special occasions,” and what you want is something that you put on your eyelashes for eight weeks, and then your eyelashes get a little thicker, and then they fall out, because guess what? Eyelashes fall out.
Here is a sample, in case you’re still skeptical. It’s all good– I don’t let it get me down. I also like how this photo makes my eye look like an eye from the movie “Psycho.” “Wendy…..I’m Home!”
So blonde and thin that my husband’s long, dark, natural eyelashes taunt me with their supermodel-like effortlessness (side note, when I mention how jealous I am of his eyelash superiority, he rolls his eyes and says “dude, I have no f%*^ing hair). And….guess what? I’m totally ok with them just the way they are. So basically, I’m the target audience for this product, and even I think it sounds dangerous and dumb. I learned to wear makeup, and when I don’t feel like it, I go out without it on, and I don’t even give a crap. Eyelashes are the least of your worries and I can’t believe they’ve actually invented a product that you would purposely rub on your eyes to enhance them that might change your eye color, darken the skin around your eyes, or eye itching, dryness, or redness. No no no!
Yeah, he doesn’t even have to try. WTF? No eyelash curler, no mascara, nothing.
Also, why is Brooke Shields the spokesperson for this product? Is she somehow implying that she needs this product, because (how to say this delicately) based on the size of her eyebrows, I doubt Brooke Shields is a woman who needs a hair-enhancement product. Do you know what I mean? I watched the “Video Diary” on the site and apparently she damaged her own eyelashes over the years and used Latisse to grow them back. Meh, okay– but, dude, you’re Brooke Shields, famous for eyebrows and Calvins and beautifulness. I doubt anyone was even noticing your thinning eyelashes.
Update: as a result of my ranting about Latisse on this post, I actually learned about some new eyelash-boosting products that I am going to try. Revitalash and Maximumlash seem to be getting the best reviews (from the comments below), so here is a link to those as well as some others.