You Say Airtight! I Say Prenup! Airtight! Prenup!
Yeah, someone needs to tell Charlie Sheen that it’s a bad idea for him to keep getting married. It’s not for everyone– some people are just better off single, right? Sheen obviously can’t restrain himself in the face of tons of money, booze and pills, and women everywhere– so why does he even try? This is either his third or fourth marriage (depending on which source you believe), and he’s just NOTORIOUS for being a jerk to his wives. I suppose if you’re the highest-paid sitcom actor on tv, you don’t have to try that hard, but really, why is he trying at all? You’d think he’d just go all "George Clooney I’m never getting married." But nooooo — Charlie has something to prove, especially with a half million dollar engagement ring. Why would you do this willingly? Has this girl never read US Weekly or People magazine? Seriously.
I also think it’s totally funny that he proposed to her with a $500,000 ring. Because you know if you’re going to put yourself through a marriage of any length with Charlie Sheen, you’re not going to do it for a ring from Sears. I’m guessing that Denise Richards is getting crazy paid from the 3 1/2 years of Sheen she had to take.
By the way,I know everyone likes Denise Richards again now that she broke up with Richie Sambora and she’s with her kids all the time, but to me she just seems hairy, like she’s about to spontaneously burst into hair at any moment, or like she’s just been from the salon where she (probably) goes every other day to have her eyebrows and arms waxed. Hairy, that’s what I mean. Like she requires alot of hair control. Oh and also, and I mean this only in the most flattering sense because I loved the West Wing. Has anyone noticed that Sam Sheen (daughter of Charlie and Denise) looks just like Martin Sheen? She’s like a girl Martin Sheen with ponytails and a dress. I would’ve said "a shorter Martin Sheen," but honestly, Martin Sheen is pretty darn short. This face is really funny, like "Put me down, I’m Martin Sheen from Apocalypse Now." That’s how much she looks like him.
Speaking of Martin Sheen, you know he’s like "Charlie– enough with the weddings." Because that’s got to be quite a large expense for him, if he has to throw a lavish, Beverly Hills style wedding for his son every three or four years. Emilio Estevez tried it a few times and now seems to have given up, but Charlie is still plugging along.
Is it possible that we could put a marriage embargo on the Sheen Brothers? It’s time.