This is How Far I Will Go to Make You Laugh.
I want you to know that in order to get this photograph of this really freaky statue in the front of an Italian restaurant, I had to surreptitiously approach with my phone and take the picture, and even when I did that the guy inside the restaurant ran up to see what I was doing and I had to run away like I was committing some kind of crime. In my mind, this kind of reaction lends itself to the creation of an immediate backstory, like: “Chef Mario is the restaraunt guy’s late father who taught him everything he knows. Upon his passing, he took a photo of Chef Mario in to a guy who makes custom statues and spent his scant reserve savings on this statue. When he picked it up, he knew it looked freaky, but he already paid, and besides, maybe this is the best the statue maker can do, so he’s just going to have to live with it.”
Clearly this freaky statue has been the subject of frequent photographs and mockings, and the restaurant guy has had enough, so he is now going to chase after whoever mocks it, to beat them into submission in order to quell his lingering rage about his life and that statue and how he never even wanted to join the family business. I almost expected him to chase after me to get me to erase the photo, but he stopped at the door of the restaurant and just gave me a dirty look.
I’m just saying this is the kind of thing I do to make you laugh.
Also, don’t look directly at Chef Mario if you taken any hallucinogenics, because that is the exact face that could get you to FLIP YOUR LID, MAN!