Apropos of nothing and completely unrelated to St. Patrick’s Day, I
saw this in a store today, and of
course, the very first thing I did was check the expiration date, because….is
there another reason for discount mayonnaise?
Sure enough, the expiration date on this sucker is March 26th,
which, when I wrote this, was NINE DAYS AWAY.
You guys. The way I SCREAMED OUT LOUD. I’m not even kidding. I clapped my hand over my mouth as soon as I
heard the scream coming out, but it was too late. That mayonnaise scared me!
Begging the question, I suppose—would it be worse for you to
eat expired mayonnaise, or to eat this entire 16oz tube-like container of
mayonnaise in nine days, thus ensuring that you have a heart attack on the 26th
rather than food poisoning? Either way,
you might be dead soon if you buy it, so good luck with yourself. This kind of thing makes me
scream out loud, quite involuntarily, when I see it, like egg salad
sandwiches at the gas station.
Here is a humorous graphic I created for you, based on all the Google searches regarding the consumption of expired mayonnaise.
Here’s the thing– it is NOT WORTH THE RISK to eat expired mayo. Dollar Tree sells mayonnaise, whereas food poisoning can make you sick enough to miss work and perhaps even go to urgent care. The math just does not work out no matter how you add it up. Food risk is one of those things you actually can control, so why wouldn’t you?