I think I’ve discussed this before, but every single time I
go to Home Depot, I feel like I’m Frodo, wandering lost in a forest, and I have
absolutely no idea which department to go to, what questions to ask, or like,
even the vicinity of the topic I should be on.
For instance, I need to fix something that’s broken, but I
don’t know what the broken part is called, so I take a picture and go to Home
Depot. I then proceed to show the
picture of the broken thing to every person in every department, until one by
one, departments are eliminated, and I end up in the right place. In that way, I guess Home Depot is a metaphor
for life.
Anyhow, the other day I was once again wandering in Home Depot,
looking for a person to give me some guidance, and I happened upon this woman
who worked there. She was totally nice
and actually did NOT give me the requisite amount of Home Depot grief (maybe
this was because they actually didn’t HAVE the totally specific product that I
needed), but was also very nice and chatted with me about various topics,
including weather on the east coast and how to clean a wood stove. About ten minutes into this conversation,
she casually mentioned that she was going to send her TRAINED HAWK out on a
mission to a place we had discussed.
YOU GUYS. She’s a
professional falconer, complete with one of those gnarly leather gloves and a
hawk that goes out, does things, and knows to come back. So…..many…..questions…..
— Where does one ACQUIRE a hawk, exactly?
— How does that hawk know to come back?
— At some point, doesn't the hawk notice that he's like, free to fly away and catch mice wherever, and just…go? I wonder what the attrition rate is for trained hawks.
–Speaking of training, where does one BECOME a falconer? Is there some kind of correspondence course for this?
So, I don’t know about you, but I feel like if I had
something as cool as a trained hawk, I would say that right after my name. I would be all “Hi, my name is Lori, I HAVE A
TRAINED HAWK, how about you?”
I feel like people should lead with the
thing that’s most interesting about them. I tell authors this so much, it drives me a little crazy. Everything has something unusual about them. I would like very much to hear about that thing, in everyone I meet.
