BY LORI CULWELL
As you may know, Stephan and I take great joy in live-snarking awards shows. Last year we were doing this on Facebook so much that a few people asked that we start up a whole page dedicated just to this. A few other people may have unfriended us for clogging up their Facebook feeds, and to those people I say: good riddance. I was tired of seeing you post about Scentsy candles and how much you love guns every day anyway, but I was trying to be polite.
So, back to the Golden Globes. If you'd like, you can go back and read the live commentary on the " Stephan & Lori's Annoying Commentary" Facebook Fan Page. I thought Stephan got in some extremely funny one- liners, including this, my favorite:
By the way, everyone be sure to check out the new fried chicken franchise Bill Murray's facial hair is obviously promoting.
A few moments stood out for me last night, one of which was Jodie Foster's awkward "coming out" speech. First of all, did Jodie Foster really need to come out? I mean….REALLY? Didn't everyone already know she was gay, and wasn't everyone over it, like, at least ten years ago, and didn't she even say as much? Good for her, I guess, but did the coming-out have to be so crazy awkward? Why was she flailing her arms around and yelling "I'M FIFTY" like she was on drugs? Jodie Foster, this is not helping you, and it's not really helping gay rights, unless maybe we're trying to show that gay people can be nervous dorks like everybody else, which I guess is a valid point.
Also, you're coming out at the Golden Globes, and you bring MEL GIBSON as your date? Look, I get it, Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster are BFFs from a long time ago, they've had each other's backs for a long time, and maybe Jodie Foster is able to overlook Mel Gibson's personal shortcomings with alcohol, women, Jews, and (hold on, let me pull out my notes) mental illness, drunk driving, drugs, and X, with the X variable representing anyone/ anything Mel Gibson doesn't hate or hasn't insulted or offended yet. I actually think that they are still friends because they were friends way back when, and he cast her as the romantic lead opposite him, and she is loyal to him because of this. But still. Almost everything in the Mel Gibson/ Jodie Foster category confuses me.
Who even knows what goes through Mel Gibson's mind anymore, but this seems like a look of confusion that is maybe going to resolve into sympathy once his medication time-delay catches up. Actually, this confusion was almost exactly how I felt about Jodie Foster's speech. I mean, of course it is always nice when celebrities come out, but I feel like once you do that, you're kind of a role model, so you need to a) stop being awkward about it, and b) STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH MEL GIBSON. Also, I think people are conflating the audiences' reactions to Jodie Foster's coming out with their reactions to her talking about her mother, who has dementia. That is to say, I don't think they were crying because they were so touched that she finally admitted she's gay. I think they were crying because her mother is sick, and that is sad.
Anyhow, I paused the DVR and backtracked incrementally to get this shot, because I feel like this kind of confusion/ almost sadness is the perfect encapsulization of Mel Gibson (along with his mugshot, of course). This face is what I'm going to look at when Mel Gibson pops up in the news and I ask myself "What was he thinking?" He's not thinking. He's a sad, confused old man, and he should not be the person you bring as your date if you're planning to come out. In fact, I can't think of anyone worse for you to bring as your coming-out date, although Stephan suggests that you could do worse with a member of the Westboro Baptist Church (look it up, there is no way I'm linking to them).
My other issue from last night was Lena Dunham. I actually really like her show (Girls), but I'm conflicted about her for several reasons. For one, I think her success is just really frustrating for people who have been slogging around in the Hollywood game for a decade or two, talented people who I personally know who are just as good at writing and directing and producing, and simply put, I know it sounds petty, but I'm sad that Lena Dunham has the kind of access she does and can get things going simply because she has famous parents and is well-connected. It makes me sad for my friends who I know look at her and just feel so defeated because she didn't pay any dues, and because her very first film (Tiny Furniture) just happened to catch the attention of Judd Apatow, and he then got HBO to throw money at her to make Girls, and this is just not the life experience of 99.9 % of all the creative types that I know.
On the other hand, Lena Dunham does not meet the typical Hollywood stereotype for women, and I admire her for that. The way she puts her (admittedly) overweight body out there in nude scenes actually rivals performance art, like she knows that this is the opposite of the ideal body, and she's challenging that, and I think that's pretty awesome. For challenging stereotypes, she might actually deserve a Golden Globe. But, getting a Golden Globe for your first-ever tv show when you're 26 years old? Yeesh. This just skeeves me out because that has never happened to anyone I know, and I think it is very discouraging to creative types in general because it reinforces that feeling of "otherness" that pervades the industry, like "if I just knew someone/ if I was just related to someone, my work would be noticed." Creative types have to look discouraging circumstances and outcomes in the face every day and get back to work anyway, and having this girl leap to the front of the class does not help with that, at all.
So, overall— some snark, some confusion, some conflicted feelings. Just look at Mel Gibson's face and you'll understand it all.
