Not gonna lie, this "posting every day" challenge has already been challenging. I've even learned a few things about myself already, which can never be bad, right?
For instance, after transferring a couple of photos from my phone in the usual way (that would be emailing them to myself), then resizing them, then uploading them here, I realized there was no way I could sustain that solution long term, so I took my brilliant husband's advice, set my phone to sync to Dropbox, and voila! Instant photos! Thanks Stephan Cox! This actually makes writing easier by removing several arduous steps.
Seriously, that one improvement will probably save me hours over the course of the year, so that was excellent progress.
Now, onto today's topic.
Here is another example of that game “Writers Meeting” I was
talking about the other day. In this
scenario, I am walking through the Times Square subway station, and some very
earnest-looking Jehovah’s Witnesses come up to me and hand me this
magazine. Why do they look so somber,
does anyone know? I know they are
prosthelitizing because that’s part of their religion, but don’t you think it
would go better if they looked like they were actually happy? I’m just saying.
Anyhow, they hand me this magazine, and I take one look at
it and do my best not to laugh, because, um, do they not think their cover
model looks like she’s straight out of the 1970’s? Just to be clear, I’m not even making fun of
their religion (though I do think that by standing in the subway station, they
are opening themselves up to this sort of thing). The fact that the words “What Would You Like
to Ask God?” are printed right there simply pushed me over the edge. It is as if they are
ASKING us to play “Writers Meeting.” As you can see, we started writing questions on it right away.
So, here is what we would like to ask God. Some of these are written from the
perspective of the model, and some of them are about the model, just so you don’t
get confused. Feel free to add your own
in the comments.
–When I get to heaven, will I be a WellaBalsam model?—
— Does this model know you are using her photograph to
recruit Jehovah’s Witnesses, or does it not matter because this photo was taken
in 1973?
— Why does this woman look like a seventies porn star?
— If I make a donation to your church, will you promise to
use the money to update your stock photography?
— Who does your hair?
— So—heaven is in Topanga Canyon?
–So—heaven is in Berkeley?
–So—heaven is in Santa Cruz?
–So—heaven is in Taos, New Mexico?
(We kept right on going with the hippie city references, but I
will stop here).
— Will I get to do the Hustle in heaven?
— Do Solid Gold Dancers go to heaven?
— You look sparkly. Is
heaven like peaking on LSD?
— So, there’ll be Burning Man in heaven?
I guess the moral of the story is, never hand me a brochure for your religion, or you will end up on this blog.
You guys. YOU GUYS! I haven't even gotten to the wonderfully weird stuff inside the actual magazine. We'll have to save that for another day, when I teach my computer how to once again recognize my scanner.
2013, getting things done!
