Full disclosure: today I am going to be discussing the logistical quandaries of having a deceased mother, so if this topic makes your mind grind to a halt (and I totally get that!) then come on back tomorrow. I know, there is really no nice way to introduce this subject—believe me, I understand this. When someone I just met asks me “So…where does your mom live?”, like at dinner parties, I’m thinking “Settle in, I feel bad for you right now,” because while this is my reality and I have to live with not having a mom, sometimes the introduction of this piece of information makes people so sad, they fixate on it and can’t finish their dinner. God forbid I should mention it in a Facebook comment, because then the proverbial needle scratches across the record of life, and everyone starts talking about that, and then I’m the weirdo who hijacked the comment thread.
So, there’s that. Do you have a “landmine” piece of personal information like this, and if so, have you found a good way to introduce it without making people depressed? I’m not saying it’s not sad, because it is, but even after almost nine years, I still haven’t found a good way of passing on this information without it triggering some kind of emotional meltdown in the person who hears it.
Anyhoo (a word that my late mother used to use all the time), as you might know, Stephan is running the New York Marathon on Sunday (yay Stephan!), we are all excited about this and I’m positive that he’s going to do great, and friends and parents are coming from far and wide to cheer him on, which means that this week I have been getting the guest room ready.
This brings me to “Euro Sham” pillows. Because I lack the benefit of being able to just “call my mom and ask” on mom-related topics like guest room decorations, I have to solve this “lack of information” problem by going to places like Kohl’s and staring at things until I start to get bleary-eyed and confused and wanting to call my mommy, then drawing tentative conclusions that often involved buying things and returning them. I have a knowledge gap when it comes to things like decorating and cooking and children, so in some ways I remain a mid-twenties clueless person who is improvising everything, and I’ve come to accept that this situation is NEVER GOING TO GET ANY BETTER, so I better just come to peace with it and start figuring things out for myself. Yesterday I put 45 minutes into this project, and I came to the amazing conclusion that “BED IN A BAG” is apparently a thing, and this is where decorative throw pillows come from. Who knew? I totally thought that, every time I’ve been to someone’s house and they have those crazy pillows that all go together, that those pillows were picked out by the person themselves and that this knowledge was somehow eluding me. Did you guys know that “Euro Sham” is that fancy square pillow that goes behind all the other pillows, and that not only does it have a name, but that you have to buy special pillow cases for them? Crazy!
I’m serious. I had no idea you could buy these things as a whole set, and I am sort of thrilled by the efficiency of this. I have added a whole new piece of knowledge to my life, so that I may now tell other people “oh yeah—that throw pillow situation? Total ‘bed in a bag.’” Fantastic!
I’m just saying, though, it would have been better if I had been able to ask my mom about this, because then I would have known YEARS earlier. Add this to the list of “Things That Would Be More Awesome if My Mom Were Still Around,” which is pretty much everything.
Sigh. That WAS a sad post! In conclusion, go and give your mom a hug, and ask her to tell you everything she knows about pillows, so you won't end up wandering around Kohl's at 9:30pm.
