Beth Isreal Medical Center does not want to get paid, did you know this?

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So, wow, I was all prepared to put up this post about good actors and actresses
who despite their talent, do terrible accents (hello, Julianne Moore on 30 Rock), but then I got
sucked back into this completely absurd bureaucratic loop involving The Beth
Israel Medical Center in New York City, and I hope this post pings the hell out
of their Google alerts (if they even have a social media manager that reads
those), because I have to honestly tell you guys, Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City does not want the money that our insurance company is trying to
send them.  They want to keep sending us outrageous bills for these FOUR STITCHES you see here, and it is almost like they are being ignorant on purpose.

Why do I think this?

Hmmmm….let's see.  Here is a story for you.  In April,
Stephan accidentally cuts himself and goes to the ER for stitches.  These stitches.  At Beth Israel Medical
Center.  Because he is a rational human with medical insurance who has been to a doctor before, he gives them
his insurance information, which they photocopy.

Two weeks later we get a
giant "explanation of benefits" from the insurance company (because Beth Israel charged us over $1,000 for these four stitches) but it has no "patient identification number" in it which obviously means it's not going to get processed.  I call the insurance company, and
they say that obviously we didn't give them our insurance information.  This is when I laugh and point out that THEY ARE THE INSURANCE COMPANY, SO HOW DO THEY EVEN KNOW TO CALL US IF WE DIDN'T GIVE THE HOSPITAL THE INFORMATION?    I should have known, this was the beginning of what has now turned into ninety days of similar bone-headedness, during which no one knows what the other is doing, and there is not once person in the picture who can enter numbers into a database correctly.

The insurance company agrees that it does make sense that they would have sent an explanation of benefits if we hadn't given our information, and then they admit that Beth Israel has a history of
entering patient information wrong, and that also?  Beth Israel is really hard to get on
the phone to correct the error, so this is probably going to go on for
awhile.

It does.

Beth Israel's accounting department, as it turns out, has a phone system
that disconnects you probably 8 out of 10 times when you call them, sometimes after making you wait for more than ten minutes.  Bear in mind, I am trying to
get through so I can get them to correct their own claim form so that they can
get paid, because the insurance company insisted that they could not correct the
claim for Beth Israel because it had been filed electronically, and because I refuse to pay an overinflated bill when the medical center makes no effort to communicate with the insurance company.  I am trying not to start suspecting that Beth Israel is TRYING not to put the right numbers in, just so they can OVERCHARGE US FOR MEDICAL CARE BY NOT COMMUNICATING WITH OUR INSURANCE COMPANY.  Couldn't be that, right?  

A month
goes by. I get another explanation of benefits indicating that the PATIENT ID NUMBER IS STILL INCOMPLETE even though I gave it to them on the phone after waiting on
hold for 35 minutes and getting disconnected 7 times.  Maybe you think I am
exaggerating these numbers, but I am really not.  I have notes.

Yep.  Beth Israel put the number in
wrong again, because they don't want the money from the insurance company, I tell you.  They don't want
it!  They want to keep sending us bills, and they think we might be stupid enough to just pay the bills and not check with the insurance company to see if they did the paperwork right and so they'll have to charge regular prices for THOSE FOUR STITCHES.

So– Friday.  I get the same bill, and the same explanation of
benefits, indicating that the patient information is still incomplete.

And, I
don't know man, I think I just Hulked out or something, because when I saw that
bill and that EOB and realized that all that time trying to correct the error
had gone to waste and Beth Israel keeps billing us– Monday morning I started calling and just yelling into the phone to any
live human (as well as the voicemail system) about how mad I was, and how this
is clearly why the healthcare system in our country is broken, and how no one
takes accountability for their job anymore, and how I am completely wasting my
time trying to close the loop, and how I hope their company is recording this,
and that someday when they go out of business, calls like mine will be what they
listen to at the post mortem of why the company closed down and everyone got laid off, and how I will
personally not be surprised when this happens, and oh by the way WHAT IS YOUR
NAME, because I want to tell the world what a great job you're doing.

Literally, I am not joking, the insurance company told me I should start writing to Beth Israel Medical Center VIA CERTIFIED MAIL so they would have to SIGN FOR THE LETTERS and then they might do something to correct the problem. 

Since I have just taken another stab at giving everyone corrected
information and since I have now written this blog post about just how annoyed I am and how many hours this has wasted, we shall see what happens next and if I end up having to go the "certified mail" route or perhaps go down there myself and enter the information for them,  and if the people at
Beth Israel Medical Center will come to their senses and get their money,
because frankly, I am tired of this charade. 

By the way, Stephan's cut finger has LONG since healed, thanks for your
concern. Actually, it healed so fast I ended up taking the stitches out myself.

My bill is in the mail. 

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