I got several comments that the last post freaked everyone out– my bad. Sorry, okay? Clearly I don’t know where the line is between “Funny” and just “Strange.” Well, rest assured– it’s not like I have that weird narrative going on in my head all the time– only in strange situations. Let’s change the subject, shall we?
Instead, why don’t we talk about the greatest, best idea for a dog toy since….well, since ever.
It’s Mr. Bill, people. Mr. Bill, from Saturday Night Live? The one who yells “Oh noooooooo” when he is repeatedly thrown into perilous situations?
Yep, that Mr. Bill.
Baxter loves Mr. Bill so much, he brings him everywhere…..and then leaves him there. In the past two weeks, I’ve found Mr. Bill face down in the dirt, in the driveway (I did manage to avoid running over him with the car, but that would have been funny too), face down by the dog bowls, in the dog’s mouth of course, under the dishwasher, out in the yard in the rain, out on the patio in the baking sun, and just so many more. I’m beginning to think that the marketing geniuses who licensed and distributed this toy did it JUST for people like me, who are old enough to actually remember the Saturday Night Live sketch, and dark enough to laugh every single time the dog bites Mr. Bill or runs away with him, growling and tossing him in the air, because this causes Mr. Bill to yell “Oh nooooooo” at random times throughout the day, and this just never fails to make me laugh.
We keep taking pictures of the random places Bill ends up, which I have put in this Mr. Bill Photo Album for your viewing pleasure. Some of them are staged, of course. You’ll see that the story ends with Mr. Bill drinking and using drugs, because why not? His life is one of pain. In fact, right now he is outside in the cold.
Here he is on Amazon, in case you want to buy him and give him to your own dog. I highly recommend this toy, if only for the laughter it will give you. I don’t think dogs really care what kind of toys they have, since they will also play with sticks or dead animals or turkeys or just about whatever you put in front of them. My point is–why not get a dog toy that makes you laugh?
Oh, also? Yesterday Baxter totally peed on Mr. Bill’s head, just for a second. This would have gone on for much longer if I hadn’t rescued him, mostly because I like Mr. Bill and I didn’t want to have to clean him off.