So, in response to yesterday's post about my
super-weird dreams, my friend Jim commented that most of his dreams involve
Prince. I am going to go ahead and not focus on how totally and completely gay
this makes him sound (although– it does, my friend) and mention instead that
this reminded me of a New Yorker article I read some time ago– you know, the
one where Prince moves to Los Angeles, to "get the vibe" there?
super-weird dreams, my friend Jim commented that most of his dreams involve
Prince. I am going to go ahead and not focus on how totally and completely gay
this makes him sound (although– it does, my friend) and mention instead that
this reminded me of a New Yorker article I read some time ago– you know, the
one where Prince moves to Los Angeles, to "get the vibe" there?
Yeah, I could've just gone ahead and told Prince to stay
in Minneapolis at Paisley Park, because that clearly works for him, and that the
vibe of Los Angeles is stuck on "permanently disgruntled and stinky," but that
is not the point of this post either. No, my friends, the point of this post is
to highlight what I found to be a particularly amusing part of that article,
where Prince mentions during the interview that as part of his chosen religion
of Jehovah's witness, he is required to go door to door and proselytize.
in Minneapolis at Paisley Park, because that clearly works for him, and that the
vibe of Los Angeles is stuck on "permanently disgruntled and stinky," but that
is not the point of this post either. No, my friends, the point of this post is
to highlight what I found to be a particularly amusing part of that article,
where Prince mentions during the interview that as part of his chosen religion
of Jehovah's witness, he is required to go door to door and proselytize.
Let me say this: if I happen to be back in Los Angeles,
and the doorbell rings, and it's PRINCE at the door, we are not talking about
the Bible. We are not talking about Jehovah, and we are definitely not talking
about the Watchtower. We are also not talking about "the good news" in any way,
shape, or form, nor are we discussing why Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate
holidays (though I have always wondered about this), and we are not talking
about whether or not embalming is Christian.
and the doorbell rings, and it's PRINCE at the door, we are not talking about
the Bible. We are not talking about Jehovah, and we are definitely not talking
about the Watchtower. We are also not talking about "the good news" in any way,
shape, or form, nor are we discussing why Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate
holidays (though I have always wondered about this), and we are not talking
about whether or not embalming is Christian.
Oh no no– if I open the door and Prince Rogers
Nelson is standing there, I might even make the pretense of talking about
religion just to get him to come in and sit down, but here is what we are really talking about
(in no particular order): Purple Rain, rockin' guitar solos, Prince's extensive
collection of costumes and platform shoes. We are talking about how Prince is
5'2" and yet possess enough charisma to bewitch every beautiful woman that
crosses his path, or how he designs all of those crazy guitars himself, or maybe
how he was the original author of "Nothing Compares 2 U," or how he has won
seven Grammys, a Golden Globe, and an Academy Award, and how if he was even
willing to put something on paper for a Broadway production he could easily add
"Tony Award" to his list, thus becoming EGOT and scoring the show business
"Grand Slam." We might even talk about how he has produced ten platinum albums
in his lifetime and he's only 51, and also about how I find the Rolling Stone
ranking of him as #28 on the "Top 100 Artists of All Time" to be a little low,
given the breadth and depth of his songwriting, guitar playing, and talent as a
producer.
Nelson is standing there, I might even make the pretense of talking about
religion just to get him to come in and sit down, but here is what we are really talking about
(in no particular order): Purple Rain, rockin' guitar solos, Prince's extensive
collection of costumes and platform shoes. We are talking about how Prince is
5'2" and yet possess enough charisma to bewitch every beautiful woman that
crosses his path, or how he designs all of those crazy guitars himself, or maybe
how he was the original author of "Nothing Compares 2 U," or how he has won
seven Grammys, a Golden Globe, and an Academy Award, and how if he was even
willing to put something on paper for a Broadway production he could easily add
"Tony Award" to his list, thus becoming EGOT and scoring the show business
"Grand Slam." We might even talk about how he has produced ten platinum albums
in his lifetime and he's only 51, and also about how I find the Rolling Stone
ranking of him as #28 on the "Top 100 Artists of All Time" to be a little low,
given the breadth and depth of his songwriting, guitar playing, and talent as a
producer.
I'm sure this says something extremely blasphemous about
me, but dude– doesn't that happen to him all the time, if the church really
does make him go door to door, giving out Bibles? You can't really tell me that
anyone would keep their cool if they opened up the door and Prince was standing
there, with the exception of people who aren't really into music, and even then,
wouldn't Prince himself be unusual enough to make someone pause?
me, but dude– doesn't that happen to him all the time, if the church really
does make him go door to door, giving out Bibles? You can't really tell me that
anyone would keep their cool if they opened up the door and Prince was standing
there, with the exception of people who aren't really into music, and even then,
wouldn't Prince himself be unusual enough to make someone pause?
I'm just saying. The concept is ridiculous enough to me
to make me rant in a blog post. Bottom line: if Prince is a member of your
church, GET HIM TO WRITE SOME MUSIC FOR YOU. GET HIM TO CONDUCT YOUR CHOIR.
GET HIM TO PUT OUT AN ALBUM. Don't make him go door to door. That is a blatant misuse of Prince's many talents.
to make me rant in a blog post. Bottom line: if Prince is a member of your
church, GET HIM TO WRITE SOME MUSIC FOR YOU. GET HIM TO CONDUCT YOUR CHOIR.
GET HIM TO PUT OUT AN ALBUM. Don't make him go door to door. That is a blatant misuse of Prince's many talents.