Once again, I have been writing these updates in my notebook, and then transcribing them becomes a burden, and I figure “ I already wrote that” so it doesn’t actually get to you until later.
Here is one I wrote last week, when I was giving away some office furniture FOR FREE on Craig’s List as part of Operation Don’t Become a Hoarder. Oh, and did I mention that I happened to see an episode of Hoarders where the woman hoards EXPIRED FOOD, and WILL EAT IT IF IT’S NOT TOO PUFFY? I’m going to let you just imagine the silent scream my face was frozen in while I could NOT LOOK AWAY from this absolute horror of a house. Let me put it this way—the professional cleaner, a guy who works in waste management and has probably seen everything once, had to leave the house because he THREW UP. That’s how much rotten food she had in there. That would make a germaphobe out of even you, Rachel.
So, yeah. She hoards food that’s spoiled, because she’s afraid she’ll go back to being poor and never have food to eat again. Of course, she’s missing the point that getting botulism from eating a yogurt that expired six months ago is going to make you DEAD, not just poor. But, that woman haggled over every expired and molded morsel in her house, and then I had to take a Silkwood shower to expunge these images from my mind. Me, with my expired food OBSESSION. Why would I watch this?
So, back to the point. This is one you can file under “Only in Los Angeles.” The other day I put an ad on Craig’s List for some office furniture. I got a bunch of calls and some emails, and one of them was from a semi-famous French film director with a recognizable name. I had been going back and forth with a few people about when they could pick it up, and did they have a friend they could bring because I didn’t want them to scratch my precious staircase, and then his email popped up. Because I recognized the name, I emailed him back and said “Hey, is this <semi-famous French film director> from <obscure film that is not his best known work, but is my favorite>? If it is, that was a good movie. What do you want to know about the furniture?”
And then, people, HE DIDN’T WRITE ME BACK. NOT A WORD. He Craig’s List dissed me over FREE office furniture, after I complimented his work.
What. A. Douche. I probably wouldn’t have given him the furniture to him anyway, but to not even answer a compliment? That is not right. Dude, I’ve written some books, and I swear to you I answer EVERY nice email someone sends me about my work, because being a creative type and getting your stuff out there is hard, and I really appreciate it when someone takes a minute out of their busy lives to actually say something nice about something I created.
But, to double-diss me, after I not only complimented him, but was willing to talk to him about my free office furniture that technically had been claimed by someone else? THAT IS WRONG.
And so I will say to this semi-famous French film director, I DID like that movie I mentioned. But, I thought the other one, the one with Jim Carrey in it, was poorly cast and didn’t have a cohesive enough narrative to hold my attention. And also, what are you doing looking for free office furniture on Craig’s List, then dissing people who give you compliments? That is just rude.
Once again, I have been writing these updates in my notebook, and then transcribing them becomes a burden, and I figure “ I already wrote that” so it doesn’t actually get to you until later.
Here is one I wrote last week, when I was giving away some office furniture FOR FREE on Craig’s List as part of Operation Don’t Become a Hoarder. Oh, and did I mention that I happened to see an episode of Hoarders where the woman hoards EXPIRED FOOD, and WILL EAT IT IF IT’S NOT TOO PUFFY? I’m going to let you just imagine the silent scream my face was frozen in while I could NOT LOOK AWAY from this absolute horror of a house. Let me put it this way—the professional cleaner, a guy who works in waste management and has probably seen everything once, had to leave the house because he THREW UP. That’s how much rotten food she had in there. That would make a germaphobe out of even you, Rachel.
So, yeah. She hoards food that’s spoiled, because she’s afraid she’ll go back to being poor and never have food to eat again. Of course, she’s missing the point that getting botulism from eating a yogurt that expired six months ago is going to make you DEAD, not just poor. But, that woman haggled over every expired and molded morsel in her house, and then I had to take a Silkwood shower to expunge these images from my mind. Me, with my expired food OBSESSION. Why would I watch this?
So, back to the point. This is one you can file under “Only in Los Angeles.” The other day I put an ad on Craig’s List for some office furniture. I got a bunch of calls and some emails, and one of them was from a semi-famous French film director with a recognizable name. I had been going back and forth with a few people about when they could pick it up, and did they have a friend they could bring because I didn’t want them to scratch my precious staircase, and then his email popped up. Because I recognized the name, I emailed him back and said “Hey, is this <semi-famous French film director> from <obscure film that is not his best known work, but is my favorite>? If it is, that was a good movie. What do you want to know about the furniture?”
And then, people, HE DIDN’T WRITE ME BACK. NOT A WORD. He Craig’s List dissed me over FREE office furniture, after I complimented his work.
What. A. Douche. I probably wouldn’t have given him the furniture to him anyway, but to not even answer a compliment? That is not right. Dude, I’ve written some books, and I swear to you I answer EVERY nice email someone sends me about my work, because being a creative type and getting your stuff out there is hard, and I really appreciate it when someone takes a minute out of their busy lives to actually say something nice about something I created.
But, to double-diss me, after I not only complimented him, but was willing to talk to him about my free office furniture that technically had been claimed by someone else? THAT IS WRONG.
And so I will say to this semi-famous French film director, I DID like that movie I mentioned. But, I thought the other one, the one with Jim Carrey in it, was poorly cast and didn’t have a cohesive enough narrative to hold my attention. And also, what are you doing looking for free office furniture on Craig’s List, then dissing people who give you compliments? That is just rude.