Just….How Dare You?

A month or so ago, in response to that post about "what kind of idiot would bag up their dog's poop and then leave it right there on the grass?", my good friend A. in Indianapolis replied with a link to a product so hilarious and repugnant that I had to think about it for a good long time before I wrote about it.

My friends, I would like to introduce you to….the Poo Trap.  This is a poop bag which is attached to a harness, all of which is attached to your dog's butt.  For the poop.  That comes out of it.   I think you should go over there right now and look at the website— maybe this is something you and your dog could use, who knows?  Although, additionally, I did want to point out as a website and marketing person that the website "pootrapusa.com" is not exactly indicative of what exactly is being sold there, and in fact could be misconstrued to be a taco shop website called "Pootra Pusa," until you go over there and see the dog-butt harness, and then boy are you confused.  

Here is a sample photo of said Poo Trap.  I hope it does not offend your delicate sensibilities.  I'm assuming we're seeing the back of this dog's head because the look on his face is one of utter "Just…oh my God, I can't believe my owner put this on me."

Actually, I must admit that aside from the part where you actually have to make the effort to assemble this product and put it on your dog, and then train him to poop into it, it IS a very good idea.  But, please take it from the owner of a dog who won't even go poop if you are looking in his general vicinity, much less let you put something like this on him for YOUR convenience, while this is a great idea, I can't see it taking off and being the next ShamWOW, if you know what I mean.

This reminds me of when we first got our dog, and we lived in New York, and I thought I was going to be all clever and train him to poop right on the newspaper so I could just fold it up and throw it away, and so I waited until he was about to poop and subtly slid the newspaper near him….only to have him completely stop, turn around, and look at me like I had totally violated his civil rights or something, or at least REALLY invaded his personal space.  He was like "how dare you….I just can't believe….just, oh my God…."   

So, we never tried that again, and I just resigned myself to having to pick up dog poop, which I have now done in New York, Los Angeles, and pretty much all the other states in the U.S., as we drove the dog cross-country when we moved back to California because he is much too large to fly.   He will also not let me put costumes on him, and God help you if you try to demean him by putting something like antlers on his head for a Christmas photo.  I'm not saying he would bite or growl, because he would never do that.   It's the look of disappointment and shame that would hurt you even more.

Kind of like this dog, who from the look on his face is a little less than thrilled to be sporting this Dog Snuggie.

Go ahead, enlarge the photo.  I think you will see that this Yorkie is about to call his dog union rep and demand restitution for this photo shoot.    Again, the Dog Snuggie is a pretty good idea, but I do not believe I could get my dog to leave the house wearing a blanket or any other kind of clothing.    Of course, I have another whole rant saved up about how the Snuggie is draining what's left of the civility out of America, but we'll have to save that one for another day.  

In closing, how dare you? 

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