The other day my phone went completely dead (because I ran down the battery until it was "red battery," which is a regular occurrence for me), and when I finished charging it, I turned it back on to find three voicemails, one of which I found so funny and absurd, I saved and re-saved it for a time when I could transfer it and write about it. I listened to it a few times, actually, because it was so weird.
And now…..here it is!
Weird "Diabetic Shoes" Voicemail
So, I hope that you were able to listen to that, because it really was worth it. Also, everything I say from here on out will be less funny if you didn't listen to it. Here goes:
1. Why. Does she keep saying. DIABETIC SHOES?
2. I realize this is a pre-recorded voice, but why does she keep saying "power chair, a hospital bed, etc" in the exact same way each time? She sounds like a robot. No one talks like that, diabetic shoes lady.
3. How did I get on this list? I don't need any of these things.
4. Does anyone at this company realize that this message was left IN MY VOICEMAIL, so not only do I have no idea who left it, but the "Press 1" and "Press 2" are totally worthless. Can't be done. Irrelevant and acontextual. And silly. I can neither BUY these DIABETIC SHOES, nor can I remove myself from the list. Well done. A great use of advertising dollars, mysterious DIABETIC SHOE COMPANY.
5. Seriously, how did I get on this list? "Power chair, hospital bed, diabetic shoes" sounds like the name of a Tom Waits album.
Special thanks to Stephan Cox for transferring this voicemail into an mp3 file. Stephan Cox knows how to do stuff!
