What-ever.

So, maybe last week you saw on my Facebook that I had an Aaron Eckhart sighting at Whole Foods. I mention this only in reference to my compulsive ignoring of celebrities– a habit that I began by growing up in Southern California, but really cultivated in New York. Perhaps you'll recall that I celebrity ignored Mel Gibson to the point that it made him uncomfortable, like where he was trying to catch my eye to see if he still existed or something, because how is he standing right there, being Mel Gibson, and no one is saying anything? That's not right.

Anyhow I ignored Aaron Eckhart, which seemed just fine with him, and it got me thinking about some of my other top celebrity ignorings, which also prompted me to ask my friend Brandi, who worked her way through law school by working at the Chart House in Malibu, and who couldn't be star struck if Tom Cruise himself hit her in the head with a frying pan.  She confirmed my theory, which is that most celebrities SAY they don't want the attention, but most of them really do.   Like Gary Busey.  But that is a whole different story.

I also ignored Beyonce in a restaurant in New York a couple of years ago, but everyone else in the restaurant was all atwitter, and it seemed like she was enjoying it. Same thing with Teri Hatcher at Starbucks.

Brooke Shields I have ignored many times because she lives in my neigborhood, and I think she actually could not case less if people notice her, although, like Jennifer Garner, you have to wonder why these people live in Brentwood and go to the Brentwood Country Mart every day if they want photographers to stay away from them.  I can think of better, non-celebrity infested places to live, like Reseda.

Paulina Porizkova was one of my often-ignoreds in New York, she did seem like she wanted to be recognized. So did Beyonce, who could probably have sent someone else out for her coffee, don't you think?

I think I also mentioned in a previous post, I reverse-ignored comedian Eddie Griffin when I actually didn't know who he was, and then got him so upset that he he to talk really, really loud for fifteen minutes until our table was ready. Now I have made a pact NOT to find out more about him.

Here's the "celebrity ignore," in a nutshell.

–see celebrity.

–acknowledge celebrity as if familiar person, which you almost can't help but do.

–sigh

–go back to what you were doing before, like checking your email.

–note reaction.

If by some chance a celebrity should happen to talk to you, I would recommend pretending you live on a desert island with no media. "Oh, are you on a show?".

This game is fun when played in LA and New York, but even better in an "out of context" area like Tennessee, where you know they're going through "pay attention to me" withdrawal. I think this is why famous people start fights and do bad stuff when they're on location.