I know, I know, I’m hardly the first person to point out how
absurd this diving show “Splash” is, but don’t you just totally feel like this
is a Funny Strange topic waiting to happen?
Here’s the thing—all the other celebrity/ reality shows
don’t require that the celebrities have any real skill (or at least that’s my
opinion). This is kind of the whole
other end of the spectrum, is it not? I
feel like that kind of high-diving is not really something that can be learned
in one intensive training period, plus if you do it wrong, you can get
seriously hurt.
I actually was going to write a whole post when I first
heard about this show, just about how dumb I thought this was and how people
were totally going to get hurt, but I wasn’t even quick enough, because people
actually DID start getting hurt, and they are leaving the show in droves, and
now one of the contestants in the Chinese version of this show actually
died. Good Lord, people. HOW DID THIS SHOW MAKE IT PAST DEVELOPMENT?
With that in mind, I actually watched part of one episode,
which made me so tense, I had my hands over my eyes the whole
time. High diving is one of those sports
that I don’t even like watching during the Olympics, when Olympians are doing
it, because I feel like the margin for error is so slim, it’s a scary sport
that is totally not worth it and that can result in a life-altering injury in a
split second, so I have no idea why/ how a show where amateurs engage in this
dangerous sport got on the air.
I feel like it’s too morbid for me to even make snarky
commentary, because one of those people could actually die by the end of the
season. I think it’s so weird that the whole intro
section just talks about how totally dangerous high diving is, then introduces
the cast, the majority of whom are professional athletes, plus Nicole Eggert
from Baywatch (who I think just left the show because of injuries) plus
Katherine Webb (Miss America, I guess?), and also Louie Anderson, who I’M SORRY
IS JUST SO OUT OF SHAPE HE SHOULD NOT BE DOING ANY ATHLETIC ACTIVITIES.
My mind is reeling with questions. I feel like most of the time, reality shows
soft-pedal the celebrities through whatever competition they’re doing (like
“The Apprentice,” for instance), but that is so not the case here with the
actual physicality of the dives (although, they clearly do score the
non-athletes more leniently). How did
they even get enough liability insurance to get this show on the air? Did each contestant just have to sign away
their whole life just to get on the show?
WHY do those actors/ celebrities want to prove that they are the “best
diver on the show?” I’m truly so
confused by this whole thing. Does no
one see how dangerous this is? Are
people watching for the danger? Oh, and
oh my God, when actual Olympic divers watch this show, are they just like
“YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG STOP IT,” and then they’re mad all over again because a)
they didn’t medal in the Olympics, which means they were the best in their
country but still came in 4th or whatever, and now these yahoos who
are not even divers and have not put in the time and yet are still more famous
than them are doing weird cannonballs off the 33 meter platform, risking their
lives to become more famous. You know those guys are all HATING THIS SHOW
SO MUCH.
Also, it must be said– Greg Louganis is SUPER catty as a
coach, dude. After every dive, he’s
like “Oooh, she held on too long,” or “oooh, he over-extended.” Greg
Lougainis—shut it. This is dangerous and these people are
amateurs who could actually get hurt.
In short, I don’t know whether to recommend that you watch
this show (it’s free right here), or to avoid it so the ratings will go down
and they’ll take it off the air. I
predict bad things.
