Oh! Oh my God. I was working on a blog post about how my hair is crazy long and how I feel and look like a hippie and how summer is the absolute worst time to have long hair and how I'm doing the Blueprint Cleanse and how I am amazingly not even hungry, and then something MUCH MORE INTERESTING happened. I got cold-called by the World’s Most Obnoxious Salesman, and I actually was so mortified by his techniques, I started taking notes. This was right before I was supposed to call author Steven Pressfield on the phone and interview him about his awesome book Turning Pro, so you can imagine that what I really wanted was to be talking to a salesman who sounded like a frat boy douchebag, right?
Hey, guess what, Salesman? If you notice one of my websites on Page One of Google for a competitive search term, here are a few things I think you should NOT do.
1. Instead of identifying yourself and asking "do you have time to talk about these websites, which I only know about because they are # 1 in Google?" just start talking a mile a minute, telling me what is wrong with the sites I have built and laughing as you say this. Obviously I am going to spend money with you if you make me feel like an idiot.
2. Instead of acknowledging that it is a big deal to have the first four positions on Page One of Google for several competitive search terms, just start right in, talking about how I should buy your product because clearly I don't know what I'm doing. This makes me feel like you’re going to be a great business partner, and like I’m going to want to do business with you for years to come.
3. Have a headset / phone connection that pops in and out so much I can't understand a word you’re saying, then when I point this out, be sure to laugh again and blame it on me.
4. When I make a partnership proposal, laugh some more.
5. When I ask simple questions like "if I buy the code for the landing page, can I repurpose it?" divert the conversation into the hard sell “Let me put you on the calendar so I can demo it for you.”
In other news, I have written a blog post over on LoriCulwell.com about this guy whose video went viral and how he needs to fix his website and other digital assets so that more people can appreciate his awesomeness. Check that out!
