I know, it seems like everything is going in slow motion up in here! I’ve been on a business trip for a few days and am preparing to go to California for the holidays AND my printer is broken again, so I am now positively buried in email (even more than usual). Also (and I’m not complaining, it’s super awesome to be busy), it kind of feels like everyone who has a book coming out in 2012 has now realized that 2012 is in two weeks and has reached out to me to make a website or fix their social media for them, so while everyone else in the world is winding things DOWN for the year, I AM CRANKING THINGS UP.
Oh, and speaking of books, in case you didn’t know, I wrote a new novel, it’s about life in Palm Desert, it’s funny, and I think you should buy it, especially if you get an eReader for Christmas. How’s that for shameless plugging? Oh, you don’t know if you’ll like it? Well, check out this awesome review!
Anyhow, yesterday in the Nashville airport I finally experienced the wonderful “full body scan” that everyone has been talking about. I really could care less about the actual process because I think it must be more disgusting than prurient to see scans of people’s bodies all day long, and besides, they seem to have added a layer of privacy to the scan so that you appear as a vaguely you-sized cartoon of you, with whatever “problem areas” are possibly on your body highlighted with red boxes.
Side note: by “problem areas” I do not mean cellulite. The TSA does not care if you’re fat. I mean metal things, or things that could pose a security problem on your flight.
The TSA found not one but TWO of these “problem areas” on my cartoon body, which resulted in them having to pat me down (this was also not sexy, get your mind out of the gutter) with special emphasis on MY KNEES, WHICH THEY SAID THEY THOUGHT WERE MADE OF METAL.
Dude, this is what our tax dollars are paying for. In case you’re wondering, I do not have metal knees, and I don’t even know if metal knees are a real thing, and yes, they did FRISK MY KNEES before allowing me to board the plane.
So there’s that. I refrained from making snarky comments during the actual knee frisking, because I’m certain that what might be an innocent snarky comment is actually a federal offense if you make the comment within the confines of an airport.
Also, there is a document stuck in the “print queue” of my printer, and if I had to guess, I would never, ever have guessed high enough if I were trying to guess how many times this could annoy me in one day. I have Googled every possible permutation of “my printer won’t print” in the book, have tried uninstalling/ reinstalling, and absolutely nothing is working, while at the same time it seems that every other person who emails me needs me to actually print something out.
Note to Canon, the makers of my non-working printer: HOW CAN THE PRINTER NOT BE DETECTED? IT IS RIGHT THERE.
So , in summary, I'm busy, I do not have metal knees, and my printer is not being detected, so that’s awesome. Soon the reason it won't print will be that I have run over it with my car.
