Hey, did you know that my husband has an awesome project he's been working on this year? It's called Thing a Day, and he has been posting a painting, or a poem, or a drawing, or music, or funny stuff every single day this year.
Not only is that amazing (perhaps as amazing as running the New York Marathon?), but sometimes it is also super funny, especially today's entry, which is entitled "Letter to Owners of a New Chimpanzee." I'm sure you can imagine what it covers. I decided to use that as my blog post for today, simply because it is much funnier than what I was thinking about writing today.
Chimporium!™
1477 Maple Dr.
Battle Creek, MI 49017
Dear Sir and/or Madam:
Congratulations on becoming the proud new Guardian (our preferred term) of a new chimpanzee! We wish you many happy days ahead with your new Companion Chimp (also our preferred term). Being a Guardian is an extremely rewarding experience, one that will create many treasured memories in the years to come. Having a real, live chimpanzee in your home is exciting and fun, but it can also present certain challenges. Below is a brief overview of what to expect.
You will immediately notice the playful and curious nature of your Companion Chimp as he or she gets to know your living space. Often when exploring rooms and furniture, chimps will engage in sniffing, climbing, swinging, scratching, tearing, and urinating. This is normal. We recommend allowing your Companion Chimp complete access to each and every space and corner of your home in order to allow your new friend to get comfortable in his or her environment. Chimps do not respond well to restrictions. More on that in a bit.
You know you want to read the rest. Go ahead!
