Wow, did it go from winter to "sort of spring" to "full on summer" where you live? Because that's what happened in New York yesterday. Whoooooooooo– I forgot all about crazy humidity and how it makes you all tired and wrung out at the end of the day. And still, despite this weather, I would rather be living on the east coast. Sorry L.A. friends! I miss you guys, but not that city. Maybe someday, I will recount the tale of how Los Angeles destroyed me, but not enough time has passed for it to be funny, so not today.
So, listen— I know we’re supposed to be all “standing on
ceremony” when people die and stuff, and for that reason I am really sorry if
this post offends anyone, because death sucks.
But—ok, am I alone in wondering what the hell is going on at
Brittany Murphy’s house? First she dies
of pneumonia and “low blood count” and some other things that so totally weren’t
a drug overdose, THEN her husband drops dead (while apparently waiting for a
heart bypass at age 39?), and no one thinks this is weird? Would it be weird or somehow inappropriate
for me to point out that Brittany Murphy’s mother is the only one still alive
in this equation, and that she better get out of that house? “Haunted house” is really the only conclusion
I can draw here, or maybe “ Brittany Murphy’s mother is the equivalent of that
nursing home cat”—you know, the one who comes and sleeps by old people right
before they’re going to die? All I’m
saying is—maybe it’s a good idea for Brittany Murphy’s mother to get herself to
a witch doctor and get both herself and that house smudged with sage or
something, because something is going on right there.
Also, not for nothing, did you know that Brittany Murphy,
her husband, and her mother were all living together in the house, and that the
Hollywood Hills home in question used to belong to Britney Spears? Does anyone think there might be some weird
juju floating around in the Hollywood Hills?
Did you happen to know that Brittany Murphy tried to sell that house,
but that it ended up having a crack in the foundation, and so she (and her
husband, and her mother) kept living there, and that now TWO PEOPLE HAVE DIED
THERE, making it perhaps the most undesirable piece of property in all of
California? Speaking of spooky houses, I
think I might have mentioned that several years ago my friend Adam (hi Adam!)
told me that Richard Jeni’s house (also in the Hollywood Hills) was for sale,
and that I should maybe consider buying it.
You know—Richard Jeni, the comedian who shot himself in the head with a
shotgun AT HIS HOUSE? I was like “Adam,
we love you and your wife and we would love to be your neighbors, but I cannot live
in a murder house.” You know why?
Because I would always be afraid something like this would happen, that’s
why.
I know, sometimes I observe these things, and they’re
uncomfortable. But maybe it makes you
feel better that someone else said it instead of you. Right?
Right?!
