Previously on "Lori went insane and drove across
America in a Prius with a big dog," we saw Lori drinking tea and hanging out
with Theatre of the Mind rockstar Kelly Howell. Feeling refreshed and mellow,
Lori then takes off, determined to drive all the way from New Mexico to Oklahoma
in one day. Has Lori consulted a map? Yes, but apparently Lori has failed to
check the weather reports, because after driving allllllll the way to Amarillo
Texas, where she could have stopped for the night, the insanity
kicks in and she decides to skip dinner in favor of making it to
Oklahoma.
OKLAHOMA, people.
Little does she know that right past Amarillo, she
will encounter a two-hour long stretch of something called "freezing fog," which
is very much akin to DRIVING IN A CLOUD, ok? She cannot turn back, she figures
that the fog HAS TO LIFT EVENTUALLY, and drives through the fog screaming at the
top of her lungs until she finally gets in touch with Stephan, who talks to her
for two hours through intermittant cellphone droppages.
Why am I writing about myself in the third person?
I don't know, I started out the "previously on," and then it amused me. Oh,
ok– so, freezing fog? ZERO VISIBILITY (you probably figured that out
already). Also? Nowhere to pull over between Amarillo and Oklahoma City (make
a note, in case you are going to make this drive during the next Stormageddon).
Also, you have to drive about 40 miles per hour because you can't see who is
ahead of you. And, why the hell did I take this picture, when I was clearly driving at the time? That's not safe!
What time did I finally get to
Oklahoma?
1:00 in the morning. That's right. 1:00 in the
morning, no dinner, screaming, then having to eat a tiny package of miso soup
because remember, I can't leave the dog in the car or the hotel, and there are
no stores open because it's 1:00 in the morning. and the guy at the Marriott
Residence Inn looks like Jesus, and I'm going to go apeshit on him if he gives
me a room next to the road construction on the highway, but I'm trying to get
him to hurry up with the checkin, because my "totally exceeds the poundage limit
for your hotel" dog is outside turning into a dogsicle.
I'm going to
just let you imagine for a second how long it took me to pull myself together
after that day. Let's just say I did not make my mileage goal on the day that
followed, preferring instead to eat cookies and watch a Law & Order
marathon.
This concludes the trip manifest labeled "New
Mexico to Oklahoma City."
