If You See Something, Say Something!
In case you’re new here or I haven’t made it clear enough,
let me state that I find random and absurd things endlessly amusing. With that in mind, if you are walking along
and you see something like this, I am absolutely the person who you should take
a photo and send it to, because I guarantee I will laugh.
Here is a photo I received yesterday from my good friend
Katie.
Yes, that is a baguette.
On someone’s windshield.
Underneath the wiper, even.
I love this for several reasons. One—who puts bread on a car? Or, is that actually some kind of unwanted
sandwich, which would even up the level of absurdity? The placement of the baguette would seem to
indicate that some kind of intentionality, as if the person were trying to give
the car’s owner some kind of bread-based parking ticket.
Another thing I’m wondering about here is—WHO LEAVES BREAD
ON A CAR? Like, you’re walking down the
street, you have some bread, you decide to give up carbs right at that moment
(or you decide you don’t like the baguette, which seems unlikely because
baguettes are universally delicious, especially if you get them in Paris), and
you don’t look for a trash can or just throw it on the ground, but you take the
extra time and effort to stick it under someone’s windshield wiper? Again, it is the superlative randomness of
this act that makes it so very funny to me.
The lifting up of the windshield wiper to place the overly-large
baguette? Hilarious. Clown-like, even. The people at the car company could never
have planned for this eventuality. Who
would ever think of that?
Another reason this made me laugh is when I imagined the
unsuspecting person that owns this car, seeing the baguette for the first time
and just stopping to wonder—WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? Like, what if they got into the car from the
sidewalk, just totally engrossed in something else, and what if they happened
to flick the switch for their windshield wipers when they turned on the
ignition, and this lead to the baguette being carried, awkwardly, over the
windshield and over to the driver’s side?
What happens next? Does that
person scream? Do they reach out and
grab the baguette, which is not sanitary because did you notice that there is
clearly a bite taken out of it? Does
the baguette scratch the windshield, and if so, what box do you check on your
car insurance claim form for “Bread-related damage”? Seriously— this windshield wiper baguette
problem makes me laugh more every time I see it. Is it some kind of threat? Did the car owner anger the Bread Mafia, and
is this their equivalent of a horse’s head in the bed?
Yet another reason why this is so funny to me is– remember when cellphones were like, for emergencies only, and they weighed a ton, and you couldn't take pictures with them? Technology has come so fa so fast that we can now use it freely to capture the absurdities of life, which is amazing. Basically, we are using a zillion dollars worth of space technology here to laugh about bread on a windshield, which ups the stakes even higher and makes it funnier.
I guess my overall point here is, please let me be the
person who you think of when you see a baguette on a windshield. Life is too short to let these precious absurd moments pass us by.