ParaGuard– oh my GOD!
I know, I spend a lot of time talking about weird commercials and how I think advertising agencies are funny but this example is clearly an advertising agency using cutesy cartoony animation to juxtapose some really scary medical warnings. This is an ad I saw recently for a new copper IUD. I feel like this animation even goes the extra mile by using a voiceover actress with a soft, soothing voice. Please notice, though, that they talk about the product for 26 seconds, then at least twice that much time is dedicated to telling you all the scary things that might happen to you if you actually use this product, like how if the product fails and you should happen to get pregnant, well, that can be fatal. YIKES. But, don't be scared! Look at the cool animations!
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This commercial is even funnier (in the "funny strange" way) if you just listen to the audio and don't watch the cartoon at all. You can probably imagine what it must have been like for the advertising agency to put together this script and animation. They're selling a copper IUD, which I didn't even think was a thing anymore. The warning language actually talks about how the IUD can break free and puncture the wall of your uterus. THAT DOES NOT SOUND GOOD AT ALL, AND THE CARTOON IS NOT MAKING THAT BETTER. I feel like the unique selling point, which is that it's birth control with no hormones, is not balanced out at all by the fact that it might in fact go rogue and start piercing parts of your interal organs.
I guess the bottom line (for me at least) is– this sounds much more serious than one of those "thing drug might make you dizzy" warnings. At least with warnings like that, you know that if it makes you dizzy and you don't like being dizzy, you can just stop taking it. I don't feel like that's really an option if you suddenly feel your uterus being pierced.
Also I have to say, I don't care for the name "ParaGuard" for a contraceptive product. Doesn't that sound like the name of a drug you might give a dog to prevent heartworms? Why aren't people all in arms about the fact that "ParaGuard" sounds like you're guarding against a parasite, the parasite being a baby? PLEASE NOTE– I didn't make up the name, I was just pointing this out, don't give me a hard time, I'm not the one that named it and I don't think babies are parasites (not all of them, anyway).
In fact, this commercial has so many scary health warnings, I was compelled to dig up this Saturday Night Live spoof commercial. You remember Happy Fun Ball, right? Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball, because in addition to all the other bad stuff, it Happy Fun Ball will also pierce your uterus.