Six Shot Caramel Macchiato, Please
We were sitting in Starbucks on Sunday, and I kid you not, I heard a guy order a "six shot caramel macchiato." Like, when did it become ok to just nonchalantly order SIX SHOTS in your coffee beverage? The only things I could think of when I heard this were:
a) who needs this much caffeine and sugar? If you’re tired enough to need six shots of espresso in your drink, maybe you should go to a hospital.
or
b) Good thing there’s a bathroom in every Starbucks, because oh my God the incredible pooping that might theoretically happen if one were to drink this much caffeine at one time. I once had an intern at an investment bank where I worked– he claimed that a single bottle of that chilled Frappucino stuff was enough to keep him in the bathroom for two hours. I don’t want to turn this into a blog about poop, but– my GOD! Six shots?!
Also, I’m bummed that Saturday Night Live was canceled because of the writer’s strike, because I really wanted to see if Amy Winehouse was going to show up, and because I wanted to see if Kristen Wiig was going to do that totally funny Bjork impression that she did a few weeks ago. Bjork is one of the stars of a new list I’m working on for Friday– namely, "People Who Are Too Eccentric to Actually Exist in the Real World." That is to say, you couldn’t really see them buying milk or paying bills online. I think Bjork falls nicely into this category. Do you think she has keys? Do they open anything? I’m just saying. I’d be surprised if she were licensed to drive in any state or country.