Baxter contemplates a slice of pizza

Maybe you’ve never seen a post about our dog, but here’s another one just to catch you up. Oh, and if you’re wondering– I’m less inundated with crazy deadlines than yesterday, but still not to the point where I can gather up all the funny photos I’ve been collecting and give them my full attention.  But– look what Stephan is teaching the dog to do!

Yes, that’s a treat on his face.  What I like most about this picture is his expression, like "You guys, this is ridiculous.  I am calling my union."  Even if you’re not a dog person, I think you can agree that he’s got some totally funny and readable faces, this dog. 

As another example, here’s what happens when we try to give him leftover food:

Now, I don’t know if you have a normal pet, but I used to have another dog a long time ago, and she never (and I repeat, NEVER) took food over to her bed so she could think about it for awhile before she ate it.  Basically with that dog, the food hit the floor, and then it was gone.   Here’s how it goes when we try to give food to Baxter, who obviously is suffering from some kind of mental disorder for which he needs medication:

Get food out of fridge. 
Call dog over.
Call dog over.
Call dog over sternly.
Dog sighs, then ambles over to food.
Hold food out for him.
Dog sniffs food, sighs.  Looks at you like "I’m uncertain about this, but I think you’re going to be upset if I don’t take this food, so here goes."
Dog takes food in mouth, ever so slowly, stares at you for a second with food still in mouth.  Sometimes, dog whines about food in his mouth.
Dog turns around and goes back to his bed, where he drops the food.
Dog sighs.
Dog lies down next to food, as if to consider or contemplate it for awhile.  He needs to be left alone now, so he can think about eating it.
Go over to dog, ask him why he’s not like other dogs. 
Dog gives you a look like "Don’t be mad."

Go away to get camera, to document the antics of the World’s Weirdest Dog.

While you were gone, dog has moved food over to the other side of his bed so he can stare at it for while.  Go away, ok?  He’s not comfortable with you watching him watch the food.  This is disturbing him perhaps more than the cold pizza.

Eventually, dog eats food, but not without a protracted existential battle and perhaps some analysis under a microscope.  Is it ok for him to eat it?   Is he in more trouble if he eats it, or just leaves it sitting there?  Why isn’t he like other dogs? 

Yes, I know you’re about to leave a comment about how "he learned it by watching me."  But, dude– I’m not even this weird about food.  Anymore. 

• Category: Funny Ha Ha